on trusting the challenges

It's obvious. Parenting is challenging. And those challenges evolve and change. Sometimes daily, but usually hourly. It's the obvious things, like teething and lack of sleep, that you can kind of prepare for. But then there are  the other challenges. The ones that are individual to your child. These are the ones that both of you learn the most from. Like their personal fears or dislikes. Phoenix, Scott, and I have learned to navigate these things together. How he likes to be soothed when he's upset, that he gets sad if he sees us arguing, and the fact that will most likely not eat oatmeal unless I make it into a pancake for him. These are things we have learned so far.

Then there are the actions you choose as a family and the beliefs you have. I am not being vague. There are just so many decisions we, as parents, have to make for our children on a moment by moment basis. When I was pregnant, I spend hours pouring over information on pregnancy, birth, and labor. Maybe a bit about newborns. I knew what to eat and what vitamins to take. I knew I wanted to give birth at home. We decided not to vaccinate Phoenix. And I had my heart set on breastfeeding. That was pretty much it.

Obviously we knew we would love and care for him above all else. But I think most first time parents don't realize the amount of decisions you have to make every day in order to raise your precious babe. And they come so quickly. One day you're relishing in the tiny baby on your chest, and in the blink of an eye you have to decide whether or not to begin solids. Is this sippy cup going to stunt their verbal development? Is this toy educational enough without limiting his own creativity? Are the colors of this board book vibrant enough for his sensory development? Am I going to lose my mind with all these questions? Yes. The answer is yes.

Of course I appreciate statistics, reviews, and studies but above all, I believe in myself and my kid. (And Scott, of course!) There is only so much you can agonize over something before you just decide to do it (or not). And while I did all that research while pregnant, I found that I make my decisions I bit more on the fly these days. Not that I'm indifferent, I just don't have the time to stress out over every little thing. And for the most part, it works for us. And when it doesn't, we trust that there is a lesson in our mistake. That there is more than just finding the perfect high chair or choosing a preschool for P. I realize he is not even two yet but NYC is insane and you have to put your kid on a waiting list YESTERDAY if you want to even have a chance to apply. Not kidding. But that is another blog post. For now, we will enjoy learning, growing, and trusting that everything is as it should be.

natural cold remedies for mom and baby

I had big plans last week. I had errands to run, banana bread to bake, friends to meet up with. You know, a life to live. And then I got sick. Ughhhh. I felt it coming on Monday evening. The scratchy throat...gross. So I got up and immediately started on my usual arsenal of natural remedies to try and attack this cold before it had too much time to develop. Tuesday I woke up with a definite cold. And while Wednesday it seemed to peak, by Thursday I was feeling much better and by Friday I was at about 90%. I would say that is pretty good (3 days!) considering I also had to chase a toddler around and generally continue mom life. No pity from the 15 month old this time around. But I digress. Here are my recommendations for kicking a cold without any over the counter meds. All of these are also safe for baby and for breastfeeding.

Oregano Oil - We really use this for everything. It is such an amazing anti microbial, anti bacterial, and anti fungal supplement that it can be used to treat so many ailments. I have used a few different ones but I find that this one is good quality and well priced. For adults, you can take it orally. I generally take 2-4 drops under my tongue (depending on how sick I am) a few times a day. For Phoenix, I rub it into the bottom of his feet before bed and put some cozy socks on over. It works brilliantly.Oil of Oregano

Apple cider vinger - Bragg's is the brand I have been using forever. The reason it's important to use the raw and unfiltered variety of ACV is because it has natural probiotics. Those probiotics are killed off during pasteurization. ACV is alkalizing for your body. The more alkaline you are, the stronger your immunity and healthier you are. Conversly, the more acidic your body is, the weaker your immunity. I put a shot in a glass of water and take every morning when feeling unwell.Bragg's

Kombucha or other probiotics - Just like with the ACV, kombucha has lots of beneficial probiotics. Probiotics are essential in building and maintaining a healthy gut. Having a healthy gut is important because it's where we absorb all our vitamins and nutrients (among other things) and hence, we need to keep it strong to get better. If you're not accustomed to the fermented flavor of kombucha (I love it) than you can take a good quality probiotic supplement. Phoenix takes the kids one you see in the photo above. I just mix it in his hemp milk every morning.This kit from my favorite kombucha brand looks awesome!

Chest rub or eucalyptus oil - I usually burn eucalyptus oil at home when one of us is under the weather. It decongests the chest and cleans the air. I also rub it all over P's little chest before bed as well as my own. He nuzzles his little face into me at night so that way he breathes it off my skin too.Chest Rub

Eliminate dairy - Not forever, but dairy (mostly cow) is mucous forming. If you are stuffed up, you may want to hold off for a few days and let your body clear out the mucous. Dairy also causes a lot of inflammation for most people so even if you are not stuffy, you want to make it as easy as possible for your body to fight the cold (which is why you're meant to rest) and cutting out difficult to digest foods does just that. 

Citrus! - I like to include a lot of citrus this time of year for all the extra vitamin C. When I am feeling run dow I do include about 2000 mg of a vitamin c supplement but some delicious oranges and clementines never hurt anyone. Also, along with what I said about mucous, citrus breaks down mucous so even if you are taking a supplement, consider some fresh citrus for this reason.

Super garlic, tahini, ginger dressing - I made this the day after I started feeling sick (Tuesday) and ate it for almost every meal all week. I also gave some to P and forced Scott to eat it as well. He didn't mind. It's delicious. I do a variation of this dressing all the time. You basically start with as much garlic as you can handle. In this case I took about 3 whole raw cloves. You can put it in the food processor with some raw ginger root (again, as much as you can take. I used about an inch.) and one or two spoonfuls of raw tahini. Raw is important again as sesame has a lot of great nutritional benefits. Among them, tahini has a lot of magnesium which is essential in maintaining respiratory health. Zinc is also in tahini, which has been proven to shorten the length of colds. At this point, you pour in some good extra virgin olive oil and then thin out the paste to your liking. When thinner, it's a great salad dressing. A thicker paste works great on crackers and sandwiches. You can also stir it into soups, beans, hummus, or add to marinades. You basically want to get as much of this in your body as possible. Garlic kills everything. Ginger works wonders for colds and sore throats. 

Elderberry or Sambucus - The tea I drank (pictured above) has elderflower in it but Sambucus has elderberry in it as well. If you're not familiar with Sambucus, it has black elderberry, which has been used for centuries in Europe as a cold remedy. I noticed that it works right away at lessening our symptoms. Obviously we have the kids version. Scott and I take double doses twice a day. Sambucus for Kids/Cold Care Tea

Ginger, lemon, honey tea - I do sip on that cold care tea all day as well as give it to P in a sippy. Either in tea or on it's own, ginger, lemon, and honey tea is great for soothing sore throats and clearing up congestion.

Bikram yoga or just sweat! - On Thursday I was starting to feel better but I just needed to knock the last bits of the cold out of me. I bundled my sick self up and went to a Bikram class. It was just what I needed! If you've never done Bikram style yoga before, it's not as fast paced as the more popular Vinyasa or power yoga. And although it definitely get's your heart rate up and your blood flowing. that pace is slow enough that it's managable when sick. At least for me. Also, the room is about 1000 degrees so it helps you sweat out toxins. In fact, that's the whole point of the practice. I digress. That's another post. The point is, just sweating all the sick out made me feel amazing. By the next day I was feeling a million times better. 

These are most of the item that are our first line of defense. While I do think there is a definitely a time and place for drugs, we practice a lot of holistic medicine in our home as well as treat with herbs. I hope you don't get sick this season, but if you do, you may find that these may help you. Along with as much rest as you can get. (Not much for me!)

mom's group v.2

One of my most favorite blog ladies and mama's, Bekah, is featured today on mom's group. I couldn't be happier. I adore Bekah's blog, My Little Loves, and she is a daily source of inspiration from her honest and vulnerable posts, to her boho fashion posts. She reminds me to live simply, be present, and that less really is more. She has a beautiful family, complete with two adorable daughter and lights up her little corner of the internet with light and love. 

Your name, children's names, and ages: Bekah, Ocean (3) and Luna (1)

1. How has being a mother inspired you? Oh man, being a mother has changed me in every way. I am inspired everyday to be kinder and more patient than I was the day before.

2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child? The above? Having to model what I am teaching. You can't teach someone patience if you aren't being patient. I struggle so much with that.

3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant? In some ways, yes and others no. Mostly, with Ocean. Her being my first and all. Ocean was a much, much more difficult baby than Luna, but being my first I always wondered if it were me. Was I doing something terribly wrong? Ocean never wanted to be cuddled, she was never really a baby. She wanted independence from a young age and that was very difficult for me to grapple with as a first time mom. 

4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent? Since we have been parents almost from the moment we moved in together it can be hard to separate the experiences. Our marriage has survived a lot, kids do put more stress there but at the end of the day we are each others retreat. The one thing I miss is spontaneous trips together. I miss sleeping in and long nights spent together. Our life still has a lot of spontaneity and fun, but it is definitely something I miss on a daily basis.

5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!) In the middle. I try to keep it as minimalist as possible. I get rid of stuff constantly and we rarely go shopping. When we do I am very selective about what we will and won't buy. If you don't have much its hard for a house to get too overwhelmingly messy. I also try and keep chores done (tidying immediately after meals, laundry put away immediately, etc) and it helps a bunch. My girls room stays messy and so does my living room, it seems at least.

*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents: Comparison is the thief of joy. Just enjoy every moment and don't compare it to what you expected or what it seems like others experiences are.

 Thanks so much Bekah! xo

this is the place

(Future soccer star)

I wrote several posts in the last few weeks. Long ones. About our holidays. A reflection on 2012. Blah, blah, blah. I didn't post any of them. Why? They felt forced. There have been a lot of other things going on behind the scenes and writing felt like a nuisance instead of therapeutic. Not good, not bad, just a lot of things that need to get checked off my list. Also: molars. Ugh. Can I get a hug from all of you who have children with teeth? Also, can we all have a shot together? One for every night I've been up multiple times in the last month. Ha!

So, that's where we are at. Trying to make good on the intentions I set for this fresh new year. Shooting for the starts. All of it. 

Scott is eating vegan for the month. Cleansing after the ridiculous amount of delicious, decadent meals and alcohol we consumed over the past few weeks. I am not eating vegan but I am basically eating the same meals that I am making him with some eggs added in or some cheese crumbled on top. I also made chicken soup for Phoenix and I the other day. Why am I not eating vegan with him? Honestly, it's a little more difficult for me over the winter. According to Ayurveda, the colder months should consist of warming grounding foods like roasted root vegetables as well as heartier meat dishes. Warming foods. Not that vegan foods can't be warming or grounding. They absolutely can. I just find that when I am feeling low on energy and cold, I feel better eating soups made with animal protein and eggs. Anyway, that's what we are eating. In the warmer months, I could survive on raw fruit and salads day after day. 

Speaking of eating, as little P is in the  midst of teething (poor guy) he has little interest in eating. He is a really good eater and enjoys a variety of foods so it is frustrating to make him meals and see him push them aside and whine. So I made him muffins. Baby muffins. I will post the recipe this week. They are full of fruits, veggies, and protein and have no sugar. They are soft and baby sized. He loves them and they don't mess with his tender mouth. Sounds good, huh? I am currently on my 6th mini muffin with sunflower butter. If I don't eat them all tonight, I will take a photo in the morning and post the recipe.

This is all very nonsensical, I know. Stay with me. I am getting back to regular writing. I just had to get back on the saddle, as they say. I will be posting more Mom's Club. I have had some amazing submissions, if you want to participate, email me. Also, I cut my hair. Done. Finally. And life is better. So much better. Ummm I guess I will try to take a photo this week. That is all for now. Must go take photos of hair and muffins. xo

1/52 & 2/52

(Obviously excited to be out with mom)

(He's looking more and more like a little boy every day.)

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Most of you read Jodi's blog right? If not, you should. She is such a talented mama and has a beautiful family whom she photographs and shares on her space each week. I was so inspired by her beautiful photos all year long that I decided to join her this year in posting a portrait of Phoenix every week. My intention is to be held accountable of taking a great photo each week and to hopefully improve my photography. Here is the first one and the second one too, since I'm late. Womp womp.

Mom Hair

(via)

We're supposed to be talking about the holidays, right? How lovely they were. How magical it is to see Christmas through the eyes of our children. How grateful we are for all the nice gifts we received and the time spent together. Yes, yes, and yes.

Phew. Now that we got that out of the way...let's move onto more important things. Like hair.

I distinctly remember being a young kid and thinking that some of my friends moms would look much prettier if their hair wan't so short. It wasn't anything against them. They were all wonderful. Baking cookies for us after school and shuttling us to and from soccer/the beach/everywhere. I just wondered why they chose to wear their hair in such a way that resembled a, um, mulletish type style or crew cut. You know what I mean...

Now, I get it. I really get it.

You see, all of these moms were busy. They were great moms. Which meant they were helping out at school, cooking, driving to and from each child's recital or game, and all the while holding down a house with 2-4 kids/dogs/and husbands. Wow.

I have fairly long hair. It's on the fine side. We live in an area where we walk everywhere daily. (Read: it's windy!) My child thinks it's pretty amusing to pull my hair occasionally. Do you see where I'm going with this?

This leaves me dreaming of short hair. Easy hair styles. I know...how momish of me. I never thought I would think of changing my hair just to make my life easier. I always thought women who used that excuse were just lazy. Not that I ever had any truly difficult to maintain hair styles. But I find that, these days, I'm just washing my hair and throwing it up in a top knot or a side braid every day.

My question is: Is it even worth it? Honestly, I hate wearing my hair lose/down, lately. For Christmas Eve, I blew out and curled it. Looked fabulous but took roughly 40 minutes. There's no way I'm even close to doing that every day. I've had short hair (chin length) before so I know it suits me and I like it enough. Now, it just gets tangled while I chase P in the playground, knotty in the wind, and yanked out on a daily basis. Ouch.

Have you ever considered cutting your hair because it's just another things to maintain everyday? Do your kids pull your hair? Do you think this is all ridiculous?

Merry Christmas

Wishing all my lovely readers and their families a cozy Christmas wherever you are. I hope you find some time to be with people you love, fill your bellies with tasty treats, and drink up all the love surrounding you this season. 

xoxo

K

PS – My adorable husband designed this card with little P on it. Isn't it cute?

Silence

I wasn't really sure I wanted to address this but I just wanted to put down some words. The shooting in Connecticut is a tragedy, for sure. I have nothing to say that would make it seem lighter, but what I can say is this: hold those little ones tight. Live each day with them. Agree to every request for hugs and snuggles and sloppy kisses.

“Making the decision to have a child – It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” - Elizabeth Stone

Mom's Group V.1

(Forever making silly sounds and faces.)

Okay, so here it goes. As I mentioned, my purpose on PH&C is shifting. I want to provide meaningful posts and build more of a community, amongst all the cute photos of my kid and stories about us. As much as I love browsing other blogs with style posts and crafts so gorgeous they make you curse yourself, I feel like it's time to get real. I'm talking to you, with your perfectly stylized photos and very clean child in an all white outfit. (Why do they even sell white clothes for toddlers? I'll never understand.) I'm not saying we need to air our dirty laundry. But, truthfully, we need each other. We need to know more about each other than our favorite pair of tights or what we ate for lunch. I say this because truthfully, parenting is difficult. (Shocker, I know.) And when I've already witnessed a toddler meltdown, cleaned up pee off the floor, and it's only 9 am, I need to know that you understand. Are you with me? 

So, I'm asking my favorite ladies to speak up. Share our challenges. We can all virtually hold each other's hands and eat ice cream out of the carton together. (Also wine, there must always be wine.)

I'm asking every one participating to feel free to be as open or discreet as they like. As this is an exercise in authenticity, I am encouraging all to share as much as they feel comfortable putting out there. Some of these questions are pretty loaded and broad so answer as you wish. I think that if other mom's can join us in our challenges and successes, we feel like we are in this whole crazy parenting thing together.

Without further ado, here are my own answers and the very first installment of Mom's Group. 

My name is Karolina. My son is Phoenix and he is about 14 months old. We (along with my husband) live in Brooklyn, NYC.

1. How has being a mother inspired you?

I used to hear other parents saying how much having children inspired them to be better people and always found that so obnoxious. I felt like it was so strange to let that be the catalyst for wanting to be "good." But I find it to be so true. While I haven't had an actual moment when I thought, "Gee, I really want to be a better person for P." I found myself evolving. And what does "good" mean, really? I guess for me, I feel more inspired to live my personal definition of a good person, daughter, friend, wife, and mother. I am inspired to show him the beauty of the everyday and how incredible his life is. But I digress. 

I feel inspired to be a complete person, in spite of such a huge part of me being mom all day, every day. I want my child to know me as not only his mama, but as a woman who had a wholly fulfilling life, in addition to the fulfillment of motherhood. 

2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child?

Okay, this question is huge. I could say that the greatest challenges for me have been:

- the change in social life. I never thought being surrounded by 8 million people would be so lonely. While I have a group of mom friends that i see quite a bit and a few in particular that have become good friends, I still feel like I know all the baristas at my local coffee shops all too well. Most days, I am desperate for adult interaction. I know what you're thinking, why don't I go out with my friends? Why don't Scott and I go out to dinner? Up until recently, it was really difficult to leave Phoenix. He is so attached to me that it takes Scott forever to calm him down at night. My mom has babysat before and I've gone out a few times but we never felt comfortable leaving him for a sitter for the majority of his first year. These days his nights are much better and he is not nursing as much, which makes a huge difference.

-identity. I didn't think that this would bother me as much as it does now. Before P was born, I had a career as a personal chef, that I loved. I made my own money and got to be creative every day. It was very fulfilling. I knew that I wanted to give that up to become a mom. And for the majority of the last year it hadn't bothered me. Now that a lot of my mom friends have returned to work and have picked up right where they left off I am feeling confused. When I was pregnant, I didn't think I would miss working at all. And in those early months I couldn't even imagine how that would work. But now I feel really annoyed when I see old friends (usually child less) whom ask me what else I am doing besides being with P full time. Huh? I don't want to get all passive aggressive about this, and while I do have other projects going on, that question is infuriating. 

3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant?

Yes and no. I knew it would be a heart breaking kind of love. I knew I would fall in love with P over and over again day after day. I knew that in one day I would be capable of being over the moon with happiness and frustrated with feeling alone. That's the person I am. But I didn't know how physical it would all be. I wasn't prepared for such an energetic-all-the-time little creature. I didn't know I would be jealous of my husband for going to a work event. But, for the most part, it is even better than I imagined it would be. My days are so full of love, laughter, and learning. I have learned a lot about the person I am and the woman I want to be. It's true that our children really do force us to slow down and appreciate little things. I appreciate that.

4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent?

Well, in many ways we have become closer than ever. We have argued more this past year than in all the years we have been together. I don't think there's any way around that. But with the arguing and talking comes learning and growing. (So cheesy, I know.) But it's true. When we married, I felt like we really became a team. But now that we have this little person in our lives we are truly a family. And that puts a lot of pressure on us, I think. Scott works all day to support us, while I work all day being with P. By the end of the day we are wiped out. I know that is nothing new for most every family but you don't really understand the exhaustion until you are in that place. While it's nice to have even a bit of alone time together in the evenings, it's useless if it's only spent watching tv on the computer. We try to be more intentional with how we spend our one-on-one time these days. It's much better that way. I could go on and on about marriage and parenting. I guess that's why there are whole books about it...

5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!)

Depends on the day, or hour, really. We try to put our toys and books away after we are done playing with them but it doesn't always happen. I try to clean during nap times but sometimes I just need to sit down and work/eat/decompress so sometimes I need an extra day. Once in a while my mom comes for the day, which means I get to do exciting things like wipe down the base boards. Thrilling. While housework isn't what really drives me, it does give me a strange sense of control in this crazy season in my life. I was never a really messy person but these days I feel like if the house is in mostly decent shape and the dishes are put away, I've accomplished something. I'm constantly trying to get rid of "stuff" that we don't need or use as well. 

*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents:

Treat your kid like an individual. Every baby/child is unique and what your book says or what your friend's kid did may not apply to your child. If you try something that is "supposed" to work and it doesn't, maybe there's a reason. Really get to know your child's needs and you'll see that maybe the reason they are/ are not doing _____ is because they are not ready or a host of other reasons. Think about that when you are getting frustrated in the middle of the night with a screaming baby. Try something else or just listen to your heart. You'll know what feels right.

So there you have it. Phew. That feels good. Fell free to post your thoughts and answer along in the comments. If you would like to be apart of this project, please email me. I've got some incredible mom's coming up with thoughtful answers.