tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53699624744027074922024-03-05T09:11:29.234-05:00Paper Hearts and CranesHi, I'm Karolina. Mama to one tiny dreamer. Wife to a pretty swell guy. The three of us are trying to live this life with laughter, intention, and a lot of coffee. Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.comBlogger161125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-30960180924501060942013-04-23T10:56:00.001-04:002013-04-23T10:56:26.895-04:00Nourish Your Life
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Hello friends and dear readers. Today is an exciting day for me...I'm moving! Well, not in real life, but in blog life. It's been in the works for a while. While I was busy conceiving my new business, <a href="http://chefkarolina.com/" target="_blank">Nourish</a>, I kept having all these ideas for blog posts and well...why don't you just read all about it at my new home...<a href="http://chefkarolina.com/blog" target="_blank">Nourish Your Life</a>. </div>
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I really loved writing at Paper Hearts & Cranes. I started writing this blog in 2009 and I've shared a lot of my most intimate stories, moments, triumphs, and challenges here. And some of you have been with me the whole time. I appreciate that, and you. So I hope you'll come visit me at my new home. It's really pretty! And I have some fun projects in the works that I would love for you to check out. See you on the other side friends...xo</div>
Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-48263172763684239112013-03-12T15:15:00.001-04:002013-03-12T15:15:14.594-04:00march, so far<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So far, this month has been exhausting, both good and bad. P had a week long stomach virus. Rough. Then we needed a week to get back to regular eating and sleeping routine. Rough. After that we had about a week of freezing snow and rain. Gross.<br />
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But not all bad, after all the sickies and exhaustion, the sun came out! And we have been exploring and getting ready for warm weather. I have a lot of projects going on right now, more on them later. Just wanted to pop over and say hi. I'm here. Sitting behind the screen, just busy with a million things. I'll be back soon. xoKarolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-40553785698853536752013-02-20T13:28:00.001-05:002013-02-20T13:28:35.490-05:00hold on<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(A crappy iphone photo but I love it)</div>
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It's strange to think that there will be a time when it won't be completely normal for Phoenix and I to be touching all day and night. Between morning snuggles, nursing, reading books in my lap, holding him on my hip as he watches me cook dinner, holding hands as we take a walk, baby massage after bath time, rocking him to sleep, and all the hugs and kisses all day long there is very little space between us. There were so many times during these past 16 months that being that close all the time felt suffocating. Obviously I loved all the closeness but between non stop nursing, co sleeping, and Phoenix's very strong attachment to me, I felt like I never had my body to myself. I went from carrying him around on the inside to carrying him and supporting him on the outside. And it was absolutely my choice. I'm not complaining about it. I feel so grateful that I've been able to (and still do) nurse him and have all this time together. I know there are other mothers who would do anything to be together.<br />
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16 months has proven to be the best. He is so adventurous, so curious, and SO loving. The hugs out of no where, the slobbery kisses as he's falling asleep at night...they slay me. Lately, bedtime has been my favorite. Which is a <i>faaaaaar </i>cry from the struggle it was the last few months. These days, after bath, lotions, and some quiet play time. P let's me know he's ready for bed by taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom (always around 7), we sing the goodnight song to papa, mama, and Phoenix. He puts his little arms out for each of us to squeeze him and with a big grin, leans in for a giant kiss. He loves this routine. After that, papa leaves, we put on his sleep sheep, turn out the lights, and have our time. We lay in bed and he nurses as I rub his little head and sing our song. After he's done, he rolls off my lap and snuggles into me. He takes my hand and puts it on his belly because he likes when I rub his little chest/belly area. And so I do. I quietly tell him about our day...from morning until bed time. What we did, and the adventures we went on...the friends we saw and all the sirens we heard. Sometimes he chimes in, sometimes he just listens. And every night he rolls over to face me, half asleep, and gives me a series of kisses with a sleepy grin. Heart explodes. <b>This </b>is what I'm talking about. How is it possible that one day this won't be happening nightly? I don't like to think about it.<br />
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Feeling his tiny ribs as his chest rises and falls...hearing his small, slow breath as he drifts off to sleep...and feeling him cuddle into me as I join him in bed...these are snippets of this precious time that I hope to never forget. I know that one day I will be longing for his little hand to hold mine and for that slobbery mouth to kiss mine. His touch will be reserved for greetings, birthday wishes, and thank yous. I know this all isn't happening tomorrow but I feel like I can see the cold reality that lies ahead and I don't like it one bit.<br />
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For now, I will cherish each little request to be held. Where as once I would do anything to have some alone time...I now realize that our days like this are numbered. I was feeling suffocated by the endless physical need from my child...now I want to give him more. I want to hold on to his hand a little bit longer before he runs off to explore, kiss his face a little bit more while he still lets me, and blow raspberries on his tummy while it's still funny. Let's not even begin talking about nibbling on those chunky thighs. I could write whole novels about my love of those thighs.<br />
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For today I will hold on a little bit tighter, and hope he will too.Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-23336367383852592582013-02-14T14:04:00.002-05:002013-02-14T17:16:43.457-05:00i love me pt. 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(This photo has nothing to do with this post. I just love it. P was about 6 months old. We were in Amsterdam. I was really happy here. Look at that face...)</div>
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While others are posting about the cute crafts they made with their kids today and my <a href="http://pinterest.com/karolinap/" target="_blank">pinterest</a> is exploding with projects that I would never have enough time to attempt, I decided to dedicate this post to writing about someone I love - me. Yes. I love myself. You should too. (Yourself, not me. Although, feel free to love me too.)<br />
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My relationship with myself was not always one of deep love and appreciation. I experienced all the same mild self hatred that most women experience in their late teens/early twenties. I starved myself of decent food, sleep, and meaningful relationships. My life and body were filled with toxic people and foods. Not to mention I never gave myself a break. Whenever something didn't work out in my life, I always found a reason to blame myself. Boys, diets, college, first jobs, friends, apartments...it was all my fault. My story is not unusual. And it's not as bleak as it sounds. I would not say that I was much different (in this sense) from any other young woman trying to find her way in this city. Those years were probably the funnest, wildest, and most carefree I have ever experienced. I don't say this in a woe-is-me kind of way. I am grateful for all the experiences, good and bad, that got me to the point I am at now, which is a good one. But it took lots of self discovery and knocking myself down over and over to learn how to treat myself best. And now, years later, it is constantly something I am working on.<br />
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Becoming pregnant, <a href="http://paperheartsandcranes.blogspot.com/2011/06/journal-day-story-of-first.html" target="_blank">experiencing a miscarriage</a>, carrying a baby, <a href="http://paperheartsandcranes.blogspot.com/2012/10/phoenix-hudson-birth-story.html" target="_blank">experiencing natural childbirth</a>, becoming a mother...there is not many ways to prepare for these experiences. And all of them broke me down to my core. There was no time to blame myself, no energy to analyze what I had done wrong this time, when there is a little life to care for. I had to eliminate all the toxicity in my life. All the crippling feelings I had about myself. And then find that love within myself. Most of this happened after my miscarriage and in the first few months of being pregnant with Phoenix. I cried every day. I had so much fear. So much anxiety about what I had done wrong the first time. But I realized that it wasn't healthy for me or the baby to hold all the fear and all those emotions inside myself. So I let them go and began trusting. The universe, the process, God...whatever you want to call it. I just convinced myself that this was the journey I was on, all these moments were small pieces of my story, and if I fixated on the negative parts there wouldn't be much room for anything else.<br />
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So I carried that baby with all the love I had. I birthed him with every bit of self hatred I had leaving my body. How could I feel disappointed in myself after everything my body - and I - was capable of doing? But then came <a href="http://paperheartsandcranes.blogspot.com/2011/12/lets-talk-about-boobs.html" target="_blank">breastfeeding </a>and all the difficulties, crying, pain, infections, frustration, and new reasons to blame myself. Again I found myself feeling not worthy of this perfect little being. I remember moments of feeling so unfit to being his mother. I felt so far away from this image I had of the mother I wanted to be. But after several months, and after our breastfeeding troubles were behind us, I was able to let go of that disappointment. I was free to be proud of myself.<br />
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Once Phoenix was around 12 months old, it felt like our life was changing daily. His needs changed, schedule changed, and expectations changed. This threw us for another loop. Suddenly I had even more obligations. Now, I'm a dreamer. I have so many ideas I would love to further explore, so many projects always on the horizon. As you can imagine, it's often frustrating not knowing how or when to make these dreams a reality. They feel so close yet so unattainable. Again came the self resentment. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to wrap my head around my own life. Not to have 40 hours in a day. There came a moment that I felt like I had hit rock bottom. Every day was a struggle. I didn't understand how so many moms had it all together. How were they running successful businesses, mothering with ease, showcasing their latest <a href="http://pinterest.com/karolinap/" target="_blank">pinterest</a> triumph (maybe I have some kind of <a href="http://pinterest.com/karolinap/" target="_blank">pinterest</a> anxiety?), and blogging all about it? And how did they not look constantly tired, like I did? I felt like I couldn't handle anything. The walls were closing in on me. Simple tasks became a cycle of frustration, anger, and crying. Every night I felt like a failure. As days went by I realized I was becoming paralyzed by my own self doubt. As much support as I had from my husband, family, and friends, I had to really look to myself. (Side note: This was also a reason I began featuring <a href="http://paperheartsandcranes.blogspot.com/search/label/mom%27s%20group" target="_blank">mom's group</a>. I was reaching out for more support!)<br />
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And so I did just that. I gave myself a break. Although I do feel like I truly "have it all" in my life, it's so relevant to me. Being a mother has definitely shown me that my strengths are greater than I imagined and magnified my weaknesses even more. Which helps me when my craft anxiety sets in. I have been knitting one scarf since I've been pregnant. It might take me a while to finish it and I'm okay with that.Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-59682812872150253772013-02-07T12:57:00.000-05:002013-02-07T12:57:00.009-05:00mom's group v.3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Look at that tiny pony tail - Working it, Ramona!)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In this new installment of mom's group, I'm excited to feature Emily of <a href="http://www.adenverhomecompanion.com/" target="_blank">A Denver Home Companion</a>. She and her husband grow their own vegetables, raise a few cute farm animals, and above all - an adorable little lady named Ramona. Her husband also owns and works at some stellar looking restos in Denver. If you are in the area, check them out! And please stop by Emily's blog and say hello. She is lovely and I really appreciate her honest writing. Also, Emily taught me how to clean my house more efficiently! Boom. For that, I am truly grateful. Thanks again friend! Happy to have you here.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">emily power, 27</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. How has being a mother inspired you?</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i get a lot more done as a mother. sometimes, i wonder how i do it all. most often i think: what the hell did i DO before i had a baby? i don't say that to mean that i'm a super-mama but rather that i am much more efficient with my time now that i have a little one with which i share my time. before baby, there was lots of free time for hanging around and putting stuff off. now, i have to rely on the quiet moments in between hanging out with the little bean. ramona has inspired me to get a lot more done in my free time (aka nap time) bc if she's awake, we're together and then i don't get much emily-time. so my online business has thrived more (<a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/olliesvintage">ollie's vintage</a>, an etsy shop for baby clothes), <a href="http://www.adenverhomecompanion.com/2012-free-printable-calendars/">my house is cleaner</a>, and my blogging has been more consistent. i do most of this during nap time or bedtime and these are things i wasn't good about making time for before she came along. i don't suppose this is normal bc i know a lot of mamas talk about struggling w getting things done that don't necessarily include "mothering," but for me, i have only one small child (i've heard it's exponentially harder with more than one!) and it worked this way! to that end, i also have <a href="http://www.adenverhomecompanion.com/the-populist-a-recap/">a husband that loves to cook</a> (so i don't have to as much) and a VERY small house (so cleaning isn't a huge task). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">additionally, and i think this is huge for me since i haven't met many mamas like this, i didn't have a career before i had a baby. i graduated college with two degrees and have done NOTHING with them. i'm also relatively young. most mamas i've met in play dates, etc. had something going on for them that they had to juggle once they had a baby. they had careers, or commitments, or deadlines, or some sort of livelihoods that they had worked hard for and/or had to get back to. i certainly applaud and, a lot of times, envy that. before i could ever get to that point, circumstances led my husband and i on a journey of lucky happenstance: we <a href="http://www.adenverhomecompanion.com/five-years-ago-today/">met</a>, <a href="http://www.adenverhomecompanion.com/four-years-ago-today-2/">married</a>, moved from the midwest to avoid winter, took the first jobs offered in denver to pay the bills, and next thing you know, we're pregnant and have a baby and are working to make ends meet. (now, things are a little different). ALL THAT TO SAY, having ramona inspired me to FIND WHAT I LOVED outside of the home. </span><span style="color: #222222;"> truthfully, </span><span style="color: #222222;">i got bored being at home all the time, especially once ramona wasn't nursing as much and wasn't as dependent on me. but i didn't have anything to fall back on bc i was relatively young to have a baby compared to all of my peers and i didn't have a job or goal that would push back the timeline of having a baby or encourage me returning to a career. she inspired me to find a little niche in my world outside of her that could contribute to our family's wellbeing, happiness, quality of life, AND to </span><span style="color: #222222;">use my skills outside of the home</span><span style="color: #222222;">, while also allowing me to continue being very involved in her upbringing. i found that by supporting my husband in opening two restaurants and then finding a role within these businesses that made sense for myself and our family (i do administrative, hiring, media relations, and accounting for our two businesses and absolutely love it. i get quiet time each morning away from home to work on these things and then get to be back to "be mama" before noon). </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child?</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the greatest challenge of having a child, especially of having a 17 month old, is to try to be on my best behavior. ramona is at a point where she is repeating EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. OR. SOUND. I. SAY. this means arguments--even those silly innocuous ones you have with our lover, probably daily-- need to be tempered or censored or buffered if the wee one is around. she hears our tones and our thrills and our shrills and our responses and our reactions. even when i hurt myself accidentally by stubbing my toe: not only do i need to watch myself saying "DAMNIT!" but also how i react. bc i love to overreact. and i don't want her to see that all the time bc sometimes how i act is SO unnecessary. and it's a good lesson for me to be aware of how strongly i am reacting to silly things. but it's hard too, and i'd love to sometimes not have a little, impressionable child taking in every thing i do and say and respond to and react to, but i don't have a choice. she's there. always. even when she's older than 18. and i'd like to think i'm a perfect role model or at least the best role model for her. but it's a big challenge knowing that most likely i will make decisions or mistakes that may negatively affect her. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant?</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this is going to sound incredibly sappy and some mamas may want to slap me. but ramona is as awesome, and probably more, than i ever imagined a daughter of mine could be. i had no illusions how hard parenthood could and would be (now if only they'd mention the same things about marriage) so i think (though hindsight is 20/20) that nothing so hard lasted too long. sure, she requires round the clock love and attention and didn't sleep through the night until she was a year. and i'm still nursing her and she still requires constant supervision when she's awake and i can't go out whenever i want to bc, hell, who'll watch the baby?! but, honestly? this girl is so great (except for months 10 thru 11 where she was constantly teething and wanted nothing to do with me). she's got sass, and independence, and intelligence. and she's healthy, and gives kisses, and says "mama" and "papa" and hugs me back. she thinks belly buttons are hilarious and likes sticking her finger in my nose. if i dare say the word "shower," she's tromping off to the bathroom trying to take off her clothes and jump in there with me. motherhood is WAY more than i imagined it would be. it's better. it's having this little product of myself and my best friend and who seems, so far at least, to have the best qualities of the both of us. and who walks and talks and giggles and plays and is another member of the powerdriver family. she's a ham. motherhood, for the record, really is better for me than i ever thought it would be. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent?</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">our marriage is more serious now. serious in the way like: if anything were to change drastically, shit, we've got a little one to think about. in some ways, it has brought my husband, JP, and I so much closer together. in other ways, it's put a wedge between us. sex is not the same. we have not quite bounced back yet. i'll leave it at that in case more sensitive eyes are reading. but also, emotionally, i'm not able to put as much attention and care to my husband as i'd like bc there's another one vying for that attention. some mamas seem to know how to balance it. i haven't figured that out yet. but i am blessed and oh-so grateful for a hubby that's understanding and open to conversation about these sorts of things. we fight. every single day. and sometimes the arguments are fruitful and sometimes they are silly and petty and asinine. but we work to figure it out and do our damnedest to give each other the space and time to understand where the other person is coming from. and always to respect each other, our home, and the family we've created. i really couldn't ask for a better partner, which is why, even when things are SO different than before ramona joined our family, i've got a lot of faith in Us. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!)</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i do not identify with sayings that resemble the following: <span style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">“Good mothers have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.” it seems to put down the mother who insists on a clean and tidy home; the mother who cleans up after a day of a house filled with kids. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16.981481552124023px;">i believe that matter of a person that prefers things picked-up and tidy is more of a personality thing vs a "better mother" thing. and i'm really sorry to the mothers out there that feel some sort of pressure to keep a spotless house bc they think they will be judged if otherwise. i say, do what feels natural to you! if you're ok w cheerios from breakfast on the ground or toys spilling out this way and that after a productive day of playing. go on with your bad self! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16.981481552124023px;">i, however, am of the mama camp that will sweep up the cheerios (or encourage the dog to eat them) and will put the toys away once the kids go down for a nap (bc i cannot sit on the couch or dining roolm table eyeing that mess out of the corner of my eye). </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">as i mentioned before, our home is small (572 sq feet!) so it's really not that hard to keep it tidy. don't get me wrong: there's a shit ton of dust under the sofa. moving the couch is a painintheassthingtodo and i reserve for days when it gets so bad i have to stop being in denial. and there's always a pile of paperwork and magazines on our credenza. and dirty dishes are constantly in the sink (woes of not having a dishwasher). but honestly (and please don't hate me, mamas), i'm able to make the bed in the morning (or my hubby does. whoever is last out of bed is our family rule), the floors are regularly swept (what else do you do to entertain the kiddos?!), and toys are put away after they're played with (no, i have not trained my toddler to do it and no i don't have a robot that follows her around. it's me on my hands and knees). like i said, we live in a small space and if it wasn't relatively well-kempt, i'd go crazy. i keep it, if not tidy, organized, and that's good enough for me.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">two, pretty please!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. do not read the books. read the baby. (i read ina may gaskin's guide to childbirth for ramona's birth and the art of breastfeeding to learn how to get those milk machines working. other than that, i've sworn away childrearing books and have relied on my instinct, my husband and his intimate knowledge of our daughter, other mothers i respect and trust, and time to make it all better). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. if something is working, do it. until it doesn't. and then find something that does. (for instance, we shared a bed with ramona until she was 11 months old and it was amazing. and then it wasn't. so we put her in a crib. and it went back to being amazing.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can find Emily at:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.adenverhomecompanion.com/">www.adenverhomecompanion.com</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://olliesvintage.etsy.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">olliesvintage.etsy.com</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">twitter: @eopower</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pinterest: @eopower</span></div>
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-91012047737158469252013-02-06T15:20:00.000-05:002013-02-06T15:24:29.791-05:00excuses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitNbvatwPJgMs5mLVCrMfAFDouMS_U8x4MIV8eGzWcboIlb0rXSrLFVZ5nAXgBIcYvzlkKPGWQp23N9pSPumIZXill-pDgvLwxTUHnXQzpK8O9X3lFf45AnsNlS6MCYVSkChoBXsfwKI4/s1600/sleeping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitNbvatwPJgMs5mLVCrMfAFDouMS_U8x4MIV8eGzWcboIlb0rXSrLFVZ5nAXgBIcYvzlkKPGWQp23N9pSPumIZXill-pDgvLwxTUHnXQzpK8O9X3lFf45AnsNlS6MCYVSkChoBXsfwKI4/s640/sleeping.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where has the time gone, huh? I know, I know...excuses. I find that a lot of my days are filled with excuses lately. "I'm tired. My kid didn't sleep all night. We all have colds. It's too windy out." I never imagined that becoming a parent would make me so wishy washy about things. I find it so difficult to commit to any plans. It's so hard to know what our (er...Phoenix's) moods will be like on any given day. As much as I like to plan things out for us, not knowing what surprises the day may bring makes the odds of us doing something at a certain time or at all, 50/50. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't realize how much and how often napping schedules change. The day that you finally think, "Yes! We have a consistent schedule!" is the day baby decides to pull a fast one on you. Not so fast mom! Sigh...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">P has been pushing his nap really lately, which is throwing me off. Despite that we manage to make it out of the house mostly every day, at least. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That brings me to my little blog. My little space to share and write. Here I am, making another excuse. As grand as my ideas are, sometimes I am just tired. I know you know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have stories to tell, photos to share, and friendships to grow. I am so thankful for those of you who have become friends and for the real life friends and family who continue to come by this little blog. Sometimes I let too much time go by in between posts that it feels awkward to begin again. Do I pick up where I left off? Do I fill in the gaps? I don't know. So I'll just write. And stop making excuses. </span><br />
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-37760524974492714652013-01-24T15:00:00.003-05:002013-01-24T17:04:32.046-05:00on trusting the challenges<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53JReqd-tk5SCi5bQRKovVSDbBkl_B7m-xiT7THeSKBsclbAhNFHQ7YgdJ4JMHBIRuZTUfY3qqEstG-NFRpcTKDdGxFYAU2aevU51d7V6LTAQU_kiJAa7szvkC4QrulnxfSL4fNTjgKs/s1600/IMG_6077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53JReqd-tk5SCi5bQRKovVSDbBkl_B7m-xiT7THeSKBsclbAhNFHQ7YgdJ4JMHBIRuZTUfY3qqEstG-NFRpcTKDdGxFYAU2aevU51d7V6LTAQU_kiJAa7szvkC4QrulnxfSL4fNTjgKs/s640/IMG_6077.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wwPgCKKald9eT74Hu5wxPU4z5urlI59Q3Bn1nj4Yq6AvOPKoXABE5HCzMkephonHfp6SHiTgG5gw2p3M8-47id7Wa_AQSL2tFpCkpkxbC5m-_QVv48DqTbBNXkVe64IMuBdPFJoN7MU/s1600/IMG_6073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wwPgCKKald9eT74Hu5wxPU4z5urlI59Q3Bn1nj4Yq6AvOPKoXABE5HCzMkephonHfp6SHiTgG5gw2p3M8-47id7Wa_AQSL2tFpCkpkxbC5m-_QVv48DqTbBNXkVe64IMuBdPFJoN7MU/s640/IMG_6073.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's obvious. Parenting is challenging. And those challenges evolve and change. Sometimes daily, but usually hourly. It's the obvious things, like teething and lack of sleep, that you can kind of prepare for. But then there are the other challenges. The ones that are individual to your child. These are the ones that both of you learn the most from. Like their personal fears or dislikes. Phoenix, Scott, and I have learned to navigate these things together. How he likes to be soothed when he's upset, that he gets sad if he sees us arguing, and the fact that will most likely not eat oatmeal unless I make it into a pancake for him. These are things we have learned so far.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then there are the actions you choose as a family and the beliefs you have. I am not being vague. There are just so many decisions we, as parents, have to make for our children on a moment by moment basis. When I was pregnant, I spend hours pouring over information on pregnancy, birth, and labor. Maybe a bit about newborns. I knew what to eat and what vitamins to take. I knew I wanted to give birth at home. We decided not to vaccinate Phoenix. And I had my heart set on breastfeeding. That was pretty much it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Obviously we knew we would love and care for him above all else. But I think most first time parents don't realize the amount of decisions you have to make every day in order to raise your precious babe. And they come so quickly. One day you're relishing in the tiny baby on your chest, and in the blink of an eye you have to decide whether or not to begin solids. Is this sippy cup going to stunt their verbal development? Is this toy educational enough without limiting his own creativity? Are the colors of this board book vibrant enough for his sensory development? Am I going to lose my mind with all these questions? Yes. The answer is yes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course I appreciate statistics, reviews, and studies but above all, I believe in myself and my kid. (And Scott, of course!) There is only so much you can agonize over something before you just decide to do it (or not). And while I did all that research while pregnant, I found that I make my decisions I bit more on the fly these days. Not that I'm indifferent, I just don't have the time to stress out over every little thing. And for the most part, it works for us. And when it doesn't, we trust that there is a lesson in our mistake. That there is more than just finding the perfect high chair or choosing a preschool for P. I realize he is not even two yet but NYC is insane and you have to put your kid on a waiting list YESTERDAY if you want to even have a chance to apply. Not kidding. But that is another blog post. For now, we will enjoy learning, growing, and trusting that everything is as it should be.</span><br />
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-67393896220793063282013-01-22T16:21:00.001-05:002013-01-24T17:04:50.406-05:00natural cold remedies for mom and baby<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had big plans last week. I had errands to run, banana bread to bake, friends to meet up with. You know, a life to live. And then I got sick. Ughhhh. I felt it coming on Monday evening. The scratchy throat...gross. So I got up and immediately started on my usual arsenal of natural remedies to try and attack this cold before it had too much time to develop. Tuesday I woke up with a definite cold. And while Wednesday it seemed to peak, by Thursday I was feeling much better and by Friday I was at about 90%. I would say that is pretty good (3 days!) considering I also had to chase a toddler around and generally continue mom life. No pity from the 15 month old this time around. But I digress. Here are my recommendations for kicking a cold without any over the counter meds. All of these are also safe for baby and for breastfeeding.</span><br />
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Oregano Oil - We really use this for everything. It is such an amazing anti microbial, anti bacterial, and anti fungal supplement that it can be used to treat so many ailments. I have used a few different ones but I find that this one is good quality and well priced. For adults, you can take it orally. I generally take 2-4 drops under my tongue (depending on how sick I am) a few times a day. For Phoenix, I rub it into the bottom of his feet before bed and put some cozy socks on over. It works brilliantly.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000GFHP6Q/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000GFHP6Q&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Oil of Oregano</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000GFHP6Q" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span><br />
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Apple cider vinger - Bragg's is the brand I have been using <i>forever</i>. The reason it's important to use the raw and unfiltered variety of ACV is because it has natural probiotics. Those probiotics are killed off during pasteurization. ACV is alkalizing for your body. The more alkaline you are, the stronger your immunity and healthier you are. Conversly, the more acidic your body is, the weaker your immunity. I put a shot in a glass of water and take every morning when feeling unwell.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001AIWAAE/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001AIWAAE&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Bragg's</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001AIWAAE" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span><br />
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Kombucha or other probiotics - Just like with the ACV, kombucha has lots of beneficial probiotics. Probiotics are essential in building and maintaining a healthy gut. Having a healthy gut is important because it's where we absorb all our vitamins and nutrients (among other things) and hence, we need to keep it strong to get better. If you're not accustomed to the fermented flavor of kombucha (I love it) than you can take a good quality probiotic supplement. Phoenix takes the kids one you see in the photo above. I just mix it in his hemp milk every morning.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004F27F5C/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B004F27F5C&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">This kit from my favorite kombucha brand looks awesome!</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B004F27F5C" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Chest rub or eucalyptus oil - I usually burn eucalyptus oil at home when one of us is under the weather. It decongests the chest and cleans the air. I also rub it all over P's little chest before bed as well as my own. He nuzzles his little face into me at night so that way he breathes it off my skin too.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0079J97WW/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0079J97WW&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Chest Rub</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0079J97WW" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eliminate dairy - Not forever, but dairy (mostly cow) is mucous forming. If you are stuffed up, you may want to hold off for a few days and let your body clear out the mucous. Dairy also causes a lot of inflammation for most people so even if you are not stuffy, you want to make it as easy as possible for your body to fight the cold (which is why you're meant to rest) and cutting out difficult to digest foods does just that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Citrus! - I like to include a lot of citrus this time of year for all the extra vitamin C. When I am feeling run dow I do include about 2000 mg of a vitamin c supplement but some delicious oranges and clementines never hurt anyone. Also, along with what I said about mucous, citrus breaks down mucous so even if you are taking a supplement, consider some fresh citrus for this reason.<br />
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Super garlic, tahini, ginger dressing - I made this the day after I started feeling sick (Tuesday) and ate it for almost every meal all week. I also gave some to P and forced Scott to eat it as well. He didn't mind. It's delicious. I do a variation of this dressing all the time. You basically start with as much garlic as you can handle. In this case I took about 3 whole raw cloves. You can put it in the food processor with some raw ginger root (again, as much as you can take. I used about an inch.) and one or two spoonfuls of raw tahini. Raw is important again as sesame has a lot of great nutritional benefits. Among them, tahini has a lot of magnesium which is essential in maintaining respiratory health. Zinc is also in tahini, which has been proven to shorten the length of colds. At this point, you pour in some good extra virgin olive oil and then thin out the paste to your liking. When thinner, it's a great salad dressing. A thicker paste works great on crackers and sandwiches. You can also stir it into soups, beans, hummus, or add to marinades. You basically want to get as much of this in your body as possible. Garlic kills everything. Ginger works wonders for colds and sore throats. </span><br />
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Elderberry or Sambucus - The tea I drank (pictured above) has elderflower in it but Sambucus has elderberry in it as well. If you're not familiar with Sambucus, it has black elderberry, which has been used for centuries in Europe as a cold remedy. I noticed that it works right away at lessening our symptoms. Obviously we have the kids version. Scott and I take double doses twice a day. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001GKUH24/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001GKUH24&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Sambucus for Kids</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B001GKUH24" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />/<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0016BCGC2/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0016BCGC2&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Cold Care Tea</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0016BCGC2" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span><br />
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Ginger, lemon, honey tea - I do sip on that cold care tea all day as well as give it to P in a sippy. Either in tea or on it's own, ginger, lemon, and honey tea is great for soothing sore throats and clearing up congestion.</span><br />
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Bikram yoga or just sweat! - On Thursday I was starting to feel better but I just needed to knock the last bits of the cold out of me. I bundled my sick self up and went to a Bikram class. It was just what I needed! If you've never done Bikram style yoga before, it's not as fast paced as the more popular Vinyasa or power yoga. And although it definitely get's your heart rate up and your blood flowing. that pace is slow enough that it's managable when sick. At least for me. Also, the room is about 1000 degrees so it helps you sweat out toxins. In fact, that's the whole point of the practice. I digress. That's another post. The point is, just sweating all the sick out made me feel amazing. By the next day I was feeling a million times better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are most of the item that are our first line of defense. While I do think there is a definitely a time and place for drugs, we practice a lot of holistic medicine in our home as well as treat with herbs. I hope you don't get sick this season, but if you do, you may find that these may help you. Along with as much rest as you can get. (Not much for me!)</span><br />
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-74424623234814990282013-01-15T10:37:00.000-05:002013-01-24T17:05:03.474-05:00mom's group v.2<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my most favorite blog ladies and mama's, Bekah, is featured today on mom's group. I couldn't be happier. I adore Bekah's blog, <a href="http://freespiritedtmama.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">My Little Loves</a>, and she is a daily source of inspiration from her honest and vulnerable posts, to her boho fashion posts. She reminds me to live simply, be present, and that less really is more. She has a beautiful family, complete with two adorable daughter and lights up her little corner of the internet with light and love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your name, children's names, and ages: Bekah, Ocean (3) and Luna (1)</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. How has being a mother inspired you? Oh man, being a mother has changed me in every way. I am inspired everyday to be kinder and more patient than I was the day before.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child? The above? Having to model what I am teaching. You can't teach someone patience if you aren't being patient. I struggle so much with that.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant? In some ways, yes and others no. Mostly, with Ocean. Her being my first and all. Ocean was a much, much more difficult baby than Luna, but being my first I always wondered if it were me. Was I doing something terribly wrong? Ocean never wanted to be cuddled, she was never really a baby. She wanted independence from a young age and that was very difficult for me to grapple with as a first time mom. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent? Since we have been parents almost from the moment we moved in together it can be hard to separate the experiences. Our marriage has survived a lot, kids do put more stress there but at the end of the day we are each others retreat. The one thing I miss is spontaneous trips together. I miss sleeping in and long nights spent together. Our life still has a lot of spontaneity and fun, but it is definitely something I miss on a daily basis.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!) In the middle. I try to keep it as minimalist as possible. I get rid of stuff constantly and we rarely go shopping. When we do I am very selective about what we will and won't buy. If you don't have much its hard for a house to get too overwhelmingly messy. I also try and keep chores done (tidying immediately after meals, laundry put away immediately, etc) and it helps a bunch. My girls room stays messy and so does my living room, it seems at least.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Comparison is the thief of joy. Just enjoy every moment and don't compare it to what you expected or what it seems like others experiences are.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks so much Bekah! xo</span><br />
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-18271942419542229082013-01-14T07:20:00.000-05:002013-01-24T17:05:17.316-05:00this is the place<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wrote several posts in the last few weeks. Long ones. About our holidays. A reflection on 2012. Blah, blah, blah. I didn't post any of them. Why? They felt forced. There have been a lot of other things going on behind the scenes and writing felt like a nuisance instead of therapeutic. Not good, not bad, just a lot of things that need to get checked off my list. Also: molars. Ugh. Can I get a hug from all of you who have children with teeth? Also, can we all have a shot together? One for every night I've been up multiple times in the last month. Ha!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, that's where we are at. Trying to make good on the intentions I set for this fresh new year. Shooting for the starts. All of it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott is eating vegan for the month. Cleansing after the ridiculous amount of delicious, decadent meals and alcohol we consumed over the past few weeks. I am not eating vegan but I am basically eating the same meals that I am making him with some eggs added in or some cheese crumbled on top. I also made chicken soup for Phoenix and I the other day. Why am I not eating vegan with him? Honestly, it's a little more difficult for me over the winter. According to Ayurveda, the colder months should consist of warming grounding foods like roasted root vegetables as well as heartier meat dishes. Warming foods. Not that vegan foods can't be warming or grounding. They absolutely can. I just find that when I am feeling low on energy and cold, I feel better eating soups made with animal protein and eggs. Anyway, that's what we are eating. In the warmer months, I could survive on raw fruit and salads day after day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Speaking of eating, as little P is in the midst of teething (poor guy) he has little interest in eating. He is a really good eater and enjoys a variety of foods so it is frustrating to make him meals and see him push them aside and whine. So I made him muffins. Baby muffins. I will post the recipe this week. They are full of fruits, veggies, and protein and have no sugar. They are soft and baby sized. He loves them and they don't mess with his tender mouth. Sounds good, huh? I am currently on my 6th mini muffin with sunflower butter. If I don't eat them all tonight, I will take a photo in the morning and post the recipe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is all very nonsensical, I know. Stay with me. I am getting back to regular writing. I just had to get back on the saddle, as they say. I will be posting more Mom's Club. I have had some amazing submissions, if you want to participate, email me. Also, I cut my hair. Done. Finally. And life is better. So much better. Ummm I guess I will try to take a photo this week. That is all for now. Must go take photos of hair and muffins. xo</span>Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-91835159423486036052013-01-13T21:45:00.000-05:002013-01-24T17:05:28.240-05:001/52 & 2/52<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Obviously excited to be out with mom)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">(He's looking more and more like a little boy every day.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2013."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">Most of you read <a href="http://cheandfidel.blogspot.com/search/label/52" target="_blank">Jodi's blog </a>right? If not, you should. She is such a talented mama and has a beautiful family whom she photographs and shares on her space each week. I was so inspired by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;"> her </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">beautiful phot</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">os all year long that I decided to join her this year in posting a portrait of Phoenix every week. My intention is to be held accountable of taking a great photo each week and to hopefully improve my photography. Here is the first one and the second one too, since I'm late. Womp womp.</span></div>
Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-49657013227978872092012-12-28T16:22:00.001-05:002012-12-28T16:26:27.183-05:00Mom Hair<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://kidsstarsblog.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-07-31T09:41:00%2B02:00&max-results=7&start=49&by-date=false" target="_blank">(via)</a></td></tr>
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We're supposed to be talking about the holidays, right? How lovely they were. How magical it is to see Christmas through the eyes of our children. How grateful we are for all the nice gifts we received and the time spent together. Yes, yes, and yes.<br />
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Phew. Now that we got <i>that</i> out of the way...let's move onto more important things. Like hair.<br />
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I distinctly remember being a young kid and thinking that some of my friends moms would look much prettier if their hair wan't so short. It wasn't anything against them. They were all wonderful. Baking cookies for us after school and shuttling us to and from soccer/the beach/everywhere. I just wondered why they chose to wear their hair in such a way that resembled a, um, mulletish type style or crew cut. You know what I mean...<br />
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Now, I get it. I <i>really</i> get it.<br />
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You see, all of these moms were busy. They were great moms. Which meant they were helping out at school, cooking, driving to and from each child's recital or game, and all the while holding down a house with 2-4 kids/dogs/and husbands. Wow.<br />
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I have fairly long hair. It's on the fine side. We live in an area where we walk everywhere daily. (Read: it's windy!) My child thinks it's pretty amusing to pull my hair occasionally. Do you see where I'm going with this?<br />
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This leaves me dreaming of short hair. <i>Easy</i> hair styles. I know...how momish of me. I never thought I would think of changing my hair just to make my life easier. I always thought women who used that excuse were just lazy. Not that I ever had any truly difficult to maintain hair styles. But I find that, these days, I'm just washing my hair and throwing it up in a top knot or a side braid every day.<br />
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My question is: Is it even worth it? Honestly, I hate wearing my hair lose/down, lately. For Christmas Eve, I blew out and curled it. Looked fabulous but took roughly 40 minutes. There's no way I'm even close to doing that every day. I've had short hair (chin length) before so I know it suits me and I like it enough. Now, it just gets tangled while I chase P in the playground, knotty in the wind, and yanked out on a daily basis. Ouch.<br />
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Have you ever considered cutting your hair because it's just another things to maintain everyday? Do your kids pull your hair? Do you think this is all ridiculous?<br />
<br />Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-65500483109982500802012-12-24T14:44:00.001-05:002012-12-24T14:44:12.663-05:00Merry Christmas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wishing all my lovely readers and their families a cozy Christmas wherever you are. I hope you find some time to be with people you love, fill your bellies with tasty treats, and drink up all the love surrounding you this season. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xoxo</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PS – My <a href="http://theassemblydesign.com/" target="_blank">adorable husband</a> designed this card with little P on it. Isn't it cute?</span></div>
Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-82589684843786932332012-12-15T17:16:00.001-05:002012-12-15T17:16:13.875-05:00Silence<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wasn't really sure I wanted to address this but I just wanted to put down some words. The shooting in Connecticut is a tragedy, for sure. I have nothing to say that would make it seem lighter, but what I can say is this: hold those little ones tight. Live each day with them. Agree to every request for hugs and snuggles and sloppy kisses.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Making the decision to have a child – It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” <i>- Elizabeth Stone</i></span></div>
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-16774581073512738572012-12-11T12:07:00.003-05:002012-12-11T12:08:46.896-05:00Mom's Group V.1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(Forever making silly sounds and faces.)</div>
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Okay, so here it goes. As I mentioned, my purpose on PH&C is shifting. I want to provide meaningful posts and build more of a community, amongst all the cute photos of my kid and stories about us. As much as I love browsing other blogs with style posts and crafts so gorgeous they make you curse yourself, I feel like it's time to get real. I'm talking to you, with your perfectly stylized photos and very clean child in an all white outfit. (Why do they even sell white clothes for toddlers? I'll never understand.) I'm not saying we need to air our dirty laundry. But, truthfully, we need each other. We need to know more about each other than our favorite pair of tights or what we ate for lunch. I say this because truthfully, parenting is difficult. (Shocker, I know.) And when I've already witnessed a toddler meltdown, cleaned up pee off the floor, and it's only 9 am, I need to know that you understand. Are you with me? </div>
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So, I'm asking my favorite ladies to speak up. Share our challenges. We can all virtually hold each other's hands and eat ice cream out of the carton together. (Also wine, there must always be wine.)</div>
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I'm asking every one participating to feel free to be as open or discreet as they like. As this is an exercise in authenticity, I am encouraging all to share as much as they feel comfortable putting out there. Some of these questions are pretty loaded and broad so answer as you wish. I think that if other mom's can join us in our challenges and successes, we feel like we are in this whole crazy parenting thing together.</div>
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Without further ado, here are my own answers and the very first installment of Mom's Group. </div>
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My name is Karolina. My son is Phoenix and he is about 14 months old. We (along with my husband) live in Brooklyn, NYC.</div>
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1. How has being a mother inspired you?</div>
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I used to hear other parents saying how much having children inspired them to be better people and always found that so obnoxious. I felt like it was so strange to let that be the catalyst for wanting to be "good." But I find it to be so true. While I haven't had an actual moment when I thought, "Gee, I really want to be a better person for P." I found myself evolving. And what does "good" mean, really? I guess for me, I feel more inspired to live my personal definition of a good person, daughter, friend, wife, and mother. I am inspired to show him the beauty of the everyday and how incredible his life is. But I digress. </div>
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I feel inspired to be a complete person, in spite of such a huge part of me being mom all day, every day. I want my child to know me as not only his mama, but as a woman who had a wholly fulfilling life, in addition to the fulfillment of motherhood. </div>
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2. What is the greatest challenge of having a child?</div>
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Okay, this question is huge. I could say that the greatest challenges for me have been:</div>
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- the change in social life. I never thought being surrounded by 8 million people would be so lonely. While I have a group of mom friends that i see quite a bit and a few in particular that have become good friends, I still feel like I know all the baristas at my local coffee shops all too well. Most days, I am desperate for adult interaction. I know what you're thinking, why don't I go out with my friends? Why don't Scott and I go out to dinner? Up until recently, it was really difficult to leave Phoenix. He is so attached to me that it takes Scott forever to calm him down at night. My mom has babysat before and I've gone out a few times but we never felt comfortable leaving him for a sitter for the majority of his first year. These days his nights are much better and he is not nursing as much, which makes a huge difference.</div>
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-identity. I didn't think that this would bother me as much as it does now. Before P was born, I had a career as a personal chef, that I loved. I made my own money and got to be creative every day. It was very fulfilling. I knew that I wanted to give that up to become a mom. And for the majority of the last year it hadn't bothered me. Now that a lot of my mom friends have returned to work and have picked up right where they left off I am feeling confused. When I was pregnant, I didn't think I would miss working at all. And in those early months I couldn't even imagine how that would work. But now I feel really annoyed when I see old friends (usually child less) whom ask me what <i>else </i>I am doing besides being with P full time. Huh? I don't want to get all passive aggressive about this, and while I do have other projects going on, that question is infuriating. </div>
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3. Is motherhood how you imagined it would be when you were pregnant?</div>
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Yes and no. I knew it would be a heart breaking kind of love. I knew I would fall in love with P over and over again day after day. I knew that in one day I would be capable of being over the moon with happiness and frustrated with feeling alone. That's the person I am. But I didn't know how physical it would all be. I wasn't prepared for such an energetic-all-the-time little creature. I didn't know I would be jealous of my husband for going to a work event. But, for the most part, it is even better than I imagined it would be. My days are so full of love, laughter, and learning. I have learned a lot about the person I am and the woman I want to be. It's true that our children really do force us to slow down and appreciate little things. I appreciate that.</div>
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4. How has your marriage been affected since becoming a parent?<br />
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Well, in many ways we have become closer than ever. We have argued more this past year than in all the years we have been together. I don't think there's any way around that. But with the arguing and talking comes learning and growing. (So cheesy, I<i> know</i>.) But it's true. When we married, I felt like we really became a team. But now that we have this little person in our lives we are truly a <i>family</i>. And that puts a lot of pressure on us, I think. Scott works all day to support us, while I work all day being with P. By the end of the day we are wiped out. I know that is nothing new for most every family but you don't really understand the exhaustion until you are in that place. While it's nice to have even a bit of alone time together in the evenings, it's useless if it's only spent watching tv on the computer. We try to be more intentional with how we spend our one-on-one time these days. It's much better that way. I could go on and on about marriage and parenting. I guess that's why there are whole books about it...<br />
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5. How tidy is your home? (Come on! We all want to know!)<br />
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Depends on the day, or hour, really. We try to put our toys and books away after we are done playing with them but it doesn't always happen. I try to clean during nap times but sometimes I just need to sit down and work/eat/decompress so sometimes I need an extra day. Once in a while my mom comes for the day, which means I get to do exciting things like wipe down the base boards. Thrilling. While housework isn't what really drives me, it does give me a strange sense of control in this crazy season in my life. I was never a really messy person but these days I feel like if the house is in mostly decent shape and the dishes are put away, I've accomplished something. I'm constantly trying to get rid of "stuff" that we don't need or use as well. </div>
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*BONUS* One line of your best advice for anyone expecting/new parents:</div>
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<b>Treat your kid like an individual.</b> Every baby/child is unique and what your book says or what your friend's kid did may not apply to your child. If you try something that is "supposed" to work and it doesn't, maybe there's a reason. Really get to know your child's needs and you'll see that maybe the reason they are/ are not doing _____ is because they are not ready or a host of other reasons. Think about that when you are getting frustrated in the middle of the night with a screaming baby. Try something else or just listen to your heart. You'll know what feels right. <br />
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So there you have it. Phew. That feels good. Fell free to post your thoughts and answer along in the comments. If you would like to be apart of this project, please email me. I've got some incredible mom's coming up with thoughtful answers.<br />
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Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-22353194055871441072012-11-26T21:28:00.001-05:002012-11-26T21:28:46.391-05:00If I'm Being Honest...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(Photos from Florida last week)</div>
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Sometimes these days are challenging. Today was one of them. Teething, changing schedules, and being a growing toddler is trying for both baby and mama. We just got back from being in Florida for a week, which was lovely. But if you think traveling with a toddler is difficult, coming home is even more stressful. Being lax with your schedule while away is relaxing while you're away, but getting that loose schedule back on track when you get home is not fun. I am exhausted today, to say the least.<br />
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Anyway, my point was to write about honestly. So often I sit down to blog when I feel most like ranting or complaining. (See above.) But that's not the energy I want to put into this space. Writing is most definitely therapeutic for me, but this little blog is a special place, not just to dump my worries and stresses.<br />
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With that said, most moms I know have challenges they face. We have unexpected hurdles each day. (Hi molars...) Our children teach us to slow down and to surrender control most of the time. Our struggles as women, mothers, wives, etc are nothing new, but each of our stories is unique.<br />
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Instead of ranting, I propose we share our struggles. Create a space for positive feedback and advice. Non judgement. After all, if we are willing to put ourselves out there, to share what we are most vulnerable about, we need a safe community to accept us.<br />
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In the next few weeks, I will be posting a series of Q & A's with some of my favorite voices in mom blog world. These women are intentional, honest, and unique moms. Each with her own story to share. I hope you join in the conversation. Share your own struggles and be honest about your own goals.<br />
We can all hold ourselves accountable! This will be an ongoing project that I hope opens up a greater dialogue.<br />
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xo<br />
KarolinaKarolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-44293670440669249452012-11-13T13:31:00.001-05:002012-11-13T13:31:30.362-05:00Thoughts on Blogging<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello. I've been away from here, I know. I've been doing a bit of soul searching in regards to this blog. What is it about? Why am I here? What started as a scrapbook of our wedding, then pregnancy, and Phoenix's first year of life has now become sort of a hodge podge of my life, inspiration, and information. And that's fine, but I want to utilize this space better. I was it to be a space full of hope. Most importantly, I want my posts to be thoughtful and written with intention. Often, I feel that I <i>should </i>be posting something on here so I don't fall off the internet grid. And in doing that, sometimes I am not being sincere. I love fashion but do not have the time or patience to set up my tripod and take photos of myself. Also, I'm pretty sure you guys would be surprised by how many things I can pair with leggings.<br />
And although I am a professional cook and love posting recipes, a food blogger, I am not. Again, tripods, lighting, food styling....doesn't work most days with a 13 month old.<br />
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So I will stop beating myself up over not posting these "cool and interesting" things. I will instead focus on what is on my mind and in my heart write now.<br />
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My authentic self hopes to write posts about the struggles of parenthood, the beauty in that struggle, and how we can achieve more happiness in the simplicity of our lives. I want to talk to other women whom I admire and hear their stories. I want to have a dialogue about how we can empower ourselves to focus on the good, the love, and the magic in our lives. Oh, and food. Definitely food.<br />
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There are so many blogs I love reading and that inspire me with the purpose they have. As much as I love posting about my sweet little bug and his many adventures, I realize that having a platform is a true opportunity and I don't want to let this moment pass me by.<br />
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I am rambling a bit but the baby is asleep and I wanted to get these thoughts down. I wanted to hold myself accountable. I'm not posting a list of all the things I hope to achieve now or write about. Just setting an intention and setting off to begin this new project.<br />
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Please let me know if you have any interest in being a part of this dialogue. Let's open this up!<br />
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xo<br />
KKarolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-58837728804142230022012-11-01T11:14:00.000-04:002012-11-01T11:14:43.723-04:00Feeding The World<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Catastrophes are everywhere, sadly. Unfortunately, we just experienced hurricane Sandy here in NYC. It was brutal, to say the least. (I will post more on this later.) But there are more than just natural disasters claiming people's lives. In Niger, nearly one in two children is malnourished. And worse, one in six dies before reaching the age of five. Heart breaking. That is just one story of many.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While I am unbelievably grateful that I am able to provide my own child with wholesome and nourishing food, not every parent is so fortunate. Many families around the world feed their families on just pennies a day and often are not able to provide many nutritious foods. Farmers are struggling to stay afloat and more and more food is being thrown away in the US every day. These are all things we hear about but more of us need to take action.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not too long ago, Oxfam contacted me to speak out about their GROW method campaign. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.oxfamamerica.org/files/grow-method" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="196" src="http://www.oxfamamerica.org/files/grow-method" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seems simple enough right? Now there is no giveaway this time. No prize on the blog for most food reduction. There is no donations to make. Your actions speak for themselves. Not convinced? Here are some more facts:</span></div>
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<li style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">If your family eats meatless one day a week you save the equivalent of 17 bathtubs of clean water.</li>
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<li style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">8% of the WORLD’s clean water goes toward meat production. That is a lot to people who have 0% water daily. Think about that.</li>
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<li style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">If Americans living in Urban areas bought just 2 Fair Trade chocolate bars a month, you would benefit 30,000 small scale cocoa farmers. Isn't that enough incentive?</li>
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<li style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In the US alone we throw 27 million apples in the trash a year. 1/3 of our plates every day goes to waste. Imagine how many people could eat on what we throw in our trash. This is why shopping smarter helps more than just farmers.</li>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">Now I challenge you to take steps to help feed the world. Sounds a little daunting, huh? It doesn't have to be. <a href="http://www.oxfamamerica.org/publications/world-food-day-dinner-discussion-guide" target="_blank">Here</a> is an easy discussion guide. And <a href="http://www.oxfamamerica.org/publications/growing-a-better-future" target="_blank">here</a> is more info on what else you can do.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #373737; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">Food is something all of us think about several times a day. What will he have for lunch? What snacks should I pack in my child's lunch box? Take a step back and think about having those options taken away from you. That's how life is for millions of people. Think about that.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">This post (and my sharing on social media) was inspired by my participation in a compensated program initiated by Women Online/The Mission List to raise awareness about Oxfam America's GROW Method. All commentary and opinions are, of course, my own.</span>Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-5257616834136575752012-10-24T21:21:00.001-04:002012-10-24T21:29:40.955-04:00One Year Later<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(from his first birthday...<i>just us three</i>)</div>
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This time last year Phoenix was 9 days old. Yesterday was my dad's birthday and last year on his birthday we bundled P up and went out to lunch at a local biergarten. I was so nervous, so fragile still. He was so tiny. He mostly slept and cooed as we shared beers and I nervously picked at my giant pretzel and sausage. I remember everyone in the restaurant coming by to congratulate us and feeling both happy and oh so nervous that they were breathing too close to him. The germs! By the time we got home and my parents left I was a bundle of nerves. I collapsed on the couch and cried. That was so exhausting, I thought. How am I ever going to leave the house with him?<br />
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Those days were long ones. Packing up our tiny East Village apartment, hosting friends in a jumble of boxes and diapers, and learning how to be parents. The computer was constantly open to a mess of informational sites having to do with sleeping/nursing/pooping...<br />
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Trips to the pediatrician were an all day excursion and grocery shopping felt like a outward bound adventure. We worked so hard to decipher all his little cries, studied several diapers, and counted the pitiful hours of sleep we were getting. But we were so happy, so in love. Still riding high on the birth and meeting of our three hearts.<br />
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Scott and I spent countless hours studying his face. Trying so much to memorize the quiver of his chin just seconds before he let out a cry, the tiny “o” shape he made with his mouth, and the great big stretches he would take when he woke up. Seemed like so much for such a tiny creature.<br />
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One year ago we had hit the ground running on this whole parenting adventure. I was over the initial shock of birth and my full days of overwhelming tears were more like half days of kind of delirious tears. Scott and I were getting lost in the world of Phoenix and making sense of this new family of three. Life was good.<br />
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One year later: it's better. And get's better every day, every moment. There are still challenges. There are still days that leave me in tears, and days that end in a much needed glass of wine. I don't think those days end. The challenges and the expectations change, but the frustrations stay the same.<br />
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Phoenix is now one year and nine days old. Unbelievable. I still don't like saying one year old. It sounds so official. So I stick with 12 months. Months mean baby to me and I'm going to stick with baby for as long as I can.<br />
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Twelve months has brought us such an incredible amount of fun! He walks! He talks! He climbs things! Eek! We have an honest-to-goodness toddler and it is all at once exhausting and exciting. Each day brings so many new experiences and tricks. And pride. So much pride. For me, of course, but his little face is so lit up each time he figures something out on his own. Heart swelling.<br />
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The baby that never slept and had a sensitive tummy is, all of a sudden, sleeping like a champ and eating everything in sight. As you can imagine, we are overjoyed about all of it, especially the sleep. It took him some time to figure it all out. But he did it. On his own terms. And when he was ready. It was so worth it.<br />
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I think often we forget what tiny, fragile beings newborns are. As adults, we never have to worry about someone forcing us to do something (usually). But for some reason, most people feel comfortable forcing their infants to eat something, sleep at a certain time, or schedule themselves into a baby frenzy. Personally, I feel like it takes time to figure out....life, really. With so many things going on in that developing brain every moment of the day and night, I imagine it's difficult to keep a schedule in mind. In any case, I'm so happy we didn't push Phoenix.<br />
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A year ago we were knee deep in diapers and trying to stay afloat in the deep sea of having a baby. While things are much smoother these days, I have a feeling that year two has just as many happy adventures and glasses of wine in store for us.<br />
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Cheers to one year!<br />
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<br />Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-37714867364002664692012-10-10T12:27:00.001-04:002012-10-10T12:27:09.990-04:00Overnight<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(This photo is a little blurry but I love it. On our way home from a birthday party last weekend. Exhausted baby.)</span></div>
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I was walking to meet some friends for lunch the other day and I found myself crying. Weeping really. Just walking down the sidewalk, staring at Phoenix so cozy in his stroller, and everything just hit me. This past year, everything we've experienced together, how much he's grown, and how quickly it all went by. I know it's been a reoccurring theme these past few months but once Phoenix turned 8 months old, he took off and the time just...<i>went</i>. And there I was, looking down at my little person, my son. He's so observant these days, looking around and pointing at everything. Every so often he glances up at me with a huge grin that melts me.<br />
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While we were strolling to lunch on this crisp autumn day, the smell of the autumn leaves took me right back to this time last year, just days away from meeting him. I remember trying to fill the time by reading, walking around my neighborhood, picking up last minute groceries, but mostly just wondering and waiting. And now, what feels like a second later, he is about to be a whole year old.<br />
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Last week he started walking. He took his first steps a few weeks ago but after taking one or two steps here and there he would slowly lower himself to the floor and continue crawling. Then, all of a sudden, Scott was leading him out to the living room by the hand as he does every morning, and Phoenix just let go. Just like that. And he ran. Ran down the hallway, and into toddlerhood. Oh my mama heart. While it's exciting to hit all the other milestones (rolling over, crawling, etc), walking feels like a huge departure from babyhood. As proud as I am, I can't help but feel a bit sad that he's becoming more independent with every day that goes by. And he's not interested in crawling anymore. Just walking, thank you very much! So he wraps his tiny hand around my finger and leads me around the house. And we run, and fall, and laugh, and scream. And I try to take videos and photos every day, because I know this too shall pass and it will be on to the next thing.<br />
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Overnight my tiny baby has turned into a tiny boy. So now I soak up his last few days of babyhood before he is officially one.Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-19286208298741652232012-10-02T09:41:00.000-04:002012-10-02T09:41:22.132-04:00Phoenix Hudson: A Birth Story<i>As Phoenix's first birthday approaches I am feeling so grateful every day that I get to record the highs and lows of our first year together. It's been quite a journey so far. In honor of that, I finally decided I am ready to share Phoenix's birth story. It is such a private and incredible moment that I wasn't sure I wanted to share it. But I decided to write it down. It is his and mine to share forever. </i><br />
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I've been writing this story for nearly a year. But as I look down at my little guy today, it feels like I've been writing it my whole life. A journey I could not imagine as beautiful as it is, now.<br />
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Phoenix was born at 10:15 on a Saturday night. He really got the party started for us. But the party actually began three days prior. My water broke, rather dramatically, at 5 am as I got up for my morning bathroom waddle. After I realized I didn't just pee myself, which is what I thought was happening, I jumped on the bed and started shaking Scott. "We are having the baby today, RIGHT NOW!!!" After leaping up and realizing what had happened he asked me how I was feeling and beaming back I said, "Amazing!" And then, "Still the same..." So we waited. Nothing. No contractions. Humph. So I waited until I decided it was a decent time (7:30 am) and called my midwife. I practically shouted at her that I was in labor and to come over RIGHT NOW. She asked me how far apart my contractions were and when I told her zip, she chuckled and sweetly told me to try and get some rest. She said I may go into labor that day, I may not. "Either way," she said, "It's coming." SO back to sleep we went. The next 72 hours were spent talking to baby. Pleading with him to make his way out. It was 10 days early but he had let us know that he was ready. Finally, on Saturday morning, I woke up with a sharp pain in my abdomen and a rush of excitement in my heart. I woke up Scott again, this time less scary, and told him it was happening. We really were having a baby that day. His whole face filled with such a smile and in that moment we hugged and I cried. I told him how scared I was and that I didn't think I could do it. I was scared of the pain and didn't think I could handle it. He held me tightly and told me how strong I was and how much I wanted to birth our son naturally. He told me to focus on my strength. It was 8 am.</div>
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So we called my midwife again and this time told her my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. She was relieved that I finally went into labor and said she'd be over in a little bit to check on me. She said to have a good breakfast and try to rest as much as possible. I would need to save my energy for later. Little did I know how much energy I would need. I also called my amazing doula who was about to head in to teach a yoga class. I told her to go ahead, that I was fine, and (knowing better) she decided to come over right away. By the time she came over (around noon) my contractions were already progressing. They were about five minutes apart. I was so happy to see her and she got to work right away. Massaging my lower back and breathing with me. Over the next two hours we were still able to chat a little bit and I remember being able to sip on some coconut water and voice my needs. I was still able to verbalize where I was at pain-wise. Somewhere around 2 pm active labor began. This is where things get fuzzy. </div>
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Before I went into labor, I imagined I would want to move around my apartment. I studied all the recommended birthing positions and movements. From the time active labor started up until I got into the birthing tub, I stayed in one position: in a ball, curled up, in the corner of my bed. I wanted no lights, no candles, no birthing playlist that I worked so hard to perfect. Silence. Darkness. My thoughts. My heart. My private experience with my baby. I focused on him with every breath, every contraction bringing me closer to seeing his face. I spoke to him deep within myself, telling him not to be scared and that there was so much love waiting for him.<br />
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I'm not sure, but I think it was around 8 pm that I got the okay to go into the birthing tub. At this point, my midwife had shown up. This was welcome sight as it meant that it was almost time to push. My contractions were so close together at this point that I had no energy to continue. As soon as I got into the water, I wanted to melt into the soft pillow of the inflatable pool. My contractions slowed down and I was able to "rest." In between contractions I would just pass out for a quick one minute nap. After my contractions picked back up again, I got the go ahead to push. I remember thinking, this is it. I'm going to meet my baby any minute. Any minute turned into 45 minutes. The first half hour was so challenging. After laboring all day and pushing with everything I had, I didn't think I could push any more. I was losing hope, patience, and what felt like my mind. My amazing doula, Lisa, kept massaging my lower back and putting cold washcloths on me. I was crying. "I can't do anymore," I said. The pain was so intense. At this point, my midwife, Cara, examined me and said I was so close. She said I could be done in just five pushes. Now I had a goal! I can do five pushes! With a high second wind I braced myself for my next push. After it was over, Cara came over, grabbed my shoulders gently, looked me in the eyes and said, "You have to push harder." "What?!! How?!" I asked. She told me if I didn't push with every bit of strength I was going to be in labor forever. I din't think I had any more left in me. But as the next contraction started rolling in I braced myself and screamed, pushed, and cried with all my heart. I felt him. He was so close. It was so painfully incredible. One more push...the head has out. I could feel him. It felt deafly silent all around me. Somewhere through the muffles I heard Cara say, "Just one more push and he's out." Here we go, I thought. And then there he was. A perfect tiny creature floated into the water underneath me. "What do I do?!" I screamed. Pick him up...<br />
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And so I did. At 10:15 on Saturday night. October 15th, 2011 little Phoenix Hudson made a very peaceful entrance into our world. I picked up his tiny, slippery body and held him so close. "You're here baby boy," I told him. "You found us."<br />
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And so began our journey as parents and he as our babe. One year ago. </div>
Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-53815187476043460602012-09-18T11:02:00.001-04:002012-09-18T11:02:31.413-04:00Vegan Autumnal Soup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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OR: Acorn squash - sweet potato - coconut - cashew soup with a maple - lime - balsamic - cashew cream.<br />
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Good title? While I do blog about food, nutrition, and cooking, I am hardly a top notch food blogger. While I once had romantic visions of snapping away photos of beautiful beets, those dreams quickly dissipated when I realized that: 1) I am not even close to being a top notch food photographer (but I try!) and 2) I have an almost one year which gives me about half a second to even remember to take a photo of meals before they are demolished by tiny hands or the camera/phone is ripped out of my hands.<br />
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But I digress.<br />
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This soup is delicious, comforting, creamy, filling, and vegan! We are not vegans but we do eat a lot of vegan meals and I am always looking for ways to substitute cream without compromising flavor and texture. Enter: cashews. It's amazing how the consistency of blended cashews makes for a silky and think soup. If you haven't tried this yet to "cream" soups, go for it! It's super easy and adds protein to your meal without sacrificing richness. It is also such a neutral taste that it won't taste "nutty."<br />
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So do you want to know the secret to this marvelous "cream?" You soak the nuts. That's it! You soak them for a few hours, until they are soft enough to blend up.<br />
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On a side note, Phoenix is still sensitive to cow's dairy so while we do eat goat cheese and he can tolerate cow's milk yogurt, he and I try to avoid milk and cream. But he is happy to eat dairy less meals.<br />
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Anyway, here is a loose recipe. Loose because I didn't plan on posting it so I didn't take any measurements. This was literally a "what's-in-the-fridge" kind of meal. The only thing I did in advance was soak the cashews because I knew I wanted soup earlier in the day so by dinner time they were ready. With the rest of the ingredients more or less ready to go, all I had to do was blend it all together and warm it up. Easy!<br />
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The quantities are based on how much squash or potato you have on hand. You can play around with the cashews also, depending on how creamy you like your soup. I also added coconut milk because I wanted the flavor but you don't need to.<br />
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1 steamed or roasted sweet potato (I had leftovers in the fridge)<br />
1 small roasted acorn squash (can also sub butternut or kabocha)<br />
1/2 cup soaked cashews<br />
1/4-1/2 cup coconut milk (depending on how loose you want the soup)<br />
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes<br />
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika (you can really season it however you like)<br />
salt to taste<br />
water to loosen soup<br />
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Blend. Done. Top with maple - lime - balsamic - cashew cream. Yum.<br />
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The cream is equally as easy. I had extra soaked cashews left over so I just made this little sauce up and it was delicious.<br />
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1/2 cup soaked cashews<br />
Juice from half a lime/whole lime depending on the size<br />
Splash of balsamic<br />
About 3 tablespoons maple syrup. (Taste as you go, this depends on your desired level of sweetness)<br />
Pour some water in your blender as you blend. You will know whether or not you need more depending on how thick it is. You want to be able to use it as a sauce on your soup.<br />
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The left overs of this sauce are also delicious spread on bread or tossed with vegetables, spread on meat/fish, or mixed into a grain salad.<br />
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Run, don't walk, to make this soup.Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-77816601428057940102012-09-13T10:34:00.000-04:002012-09-13T10:34:25.831-04:00Hurts So Good<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I never realized how physical the act of mothering would be. When I was pregnant, I imagined how exhausted I would be (not even close!) and how little sleep I would get (ha!). I had visions of a tiny baby sleeping on my chest, his breath raising and lowering that tiny body. Then, he's crawling towards me, barreling into my open arms. Not only did I dream this, all of it happened. Phoenix is the most loving little snuggle bug. He loves nothing more than being close to me. It is an amazing feeling knowing that someone's most favorite thing is just to be held by you. That you can bring such comfort and security to a tiny soul, just by hugging them. As overwhelmingly powerful as this is, it is also so draining some days. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Phoenix is a strong boy. Really. From the time he was 2 weeks old, he was grabbing our little fingers to pull up his neck and from about 6 weeks he was grunting and pulling up with his whole upper body. His physicality is evident in everything he does. He hasn't been weighed since his 9 month well visit, but I have a feeling he is well over 25 lbs at this point. When anyone is holding him, it's not uncommon for them to comment on how they didn't expect him to be so heavy. Now, I'm not writing this to be all braggy "my-kid-is-BIGGER-than-yours!" because, honestly, I'm tired of those comments/attitudes. My point is, all this cuddling and loving, it hurts sometimes. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With painful little teeth cutting up through tiny gums every few weeks, my boy has been known to gnaw on my shoulder while being rocked to sleep. If I don't keep up with clipping his <strike>razors</strike> nails, I suffer the consequences by being covered in a slashed up chest from loving rubs during nursing sessions. Since it is a very tactile and exploratory time for Phoenix, he often pinches or pokes me when we are talking about parts of the body. And if you've ever held a baby, you already know about the hair pulling. Ouch. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know there isn't much time left with all the snuggles so I just practice being present and putting it into perspective. With sore arms and a full heart I will cuddle my boy, rock him, and swing him around in the grass. Soon he will be wiggling out of my hugs and setting off on his own adventures. For now I will hold on.</span>Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-10685486994357032702012-09-04T11:29:00.001-04:002012-09-04T11:29:30.931-04:00Getting Ready for Colder MonthsPhoenix and I have come down with some summer sniffles. We are not properly sick (thank goodness), just stuffy nosed. It may be allergies. In any case, it got me thinking about getting my home and body ready for cold weather and the dreaded cold season. As the days get shorter and playground gets filled with icky germs and sneezing babies (ew), we like to make sure our bodies and immune systems are ready to fight the good fight.<br />
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Here are some things we do and products I like to have around when summer turns to fall (and into winter):<br />
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31QE0raiYsL._SS500_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31QE0raiYsL._SS500_.jpg" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0016BFD4K/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0016BFD4K&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Dr. Bronner's Eucalyptus Soap</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0016BFD4K" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
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We like all of Dr. B's soaps around here but I enjoy the Eucalyptus one in the colder months as it helps to clear out stuffy noses with it's soothing vapors. It also clears your head on a dark, cold morning.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000OMJWXU/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000OMJWXU&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Raw Honey</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000OMJWXU" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
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Raw honey is the best. Since it is unprocessed, it retains all the natural enzymes and nutrients. Did you know raw honey is a natural antibiotic? It is really powerful stuff. As long as it is not that stuff in the bear. I am not partial to this brand. I've had it. It's delicious. But there are plenty of great options at your local health food store or even better, the farmer's market! I believe even Trader Joe's has a raw honey now. Bonus: you can apply it to burns and it works better than any burn cream I've ever used. Truth.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000WJIC3G/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000WJIC3G&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Neti Pot</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000WJIC3G" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></div>
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I love my neti pot. At first, I didn't understand it. I made a mess. And it didn't help at all. Now, after a few youtube videos and some practice we are pals. I use my neti pot all the time. Allergies, colds, stuffiness, and even headache. It works so well. Don't feel like you have to buy the special salt that is recommended. You can use any sea salt that doesn't have anti-caking agents in it. So no table salt. I even have a tiny one for Phoenix. (Which he hates...)</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000GFSVI2/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000GFSVI2&linkCode=as2&tag=papheacra-20">Wellness Formula</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=papheacra-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000GFSVI2" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Wellness Formula is a powerful combination of herbs, antioxidants, vitamins and minerals formulated to boost your immune system. If I feel even the tiniest trace of a cold someone on, I load up on these capsules and usually it knocks it out of my system. Now, it is not recommended for pregnant or nursing women so I didn't take it last winter and it's likely I won't be taking it this winter but I highly recommend adding this to your winter supplement rotation. In the past, if I was feeling run down, I would take one daily. Good stuff.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Tomorrow I will be posting foods that are beneficial to incorporate in colder months. </span></div>
Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369962474402707492.post-10671572914370502012012-08-20T06:00:00.000-04:002012-08-20T06:00:13.064-04:00Decadent Weekend Cleanse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I don't know about you but I am trying to make the most of these last few summer weekends. That means barbeques, ice cream, and boardwalk snacks at the beach. During the week, we eat a balanced diet full of delicious fruits and vegetables from our CSA. But summer weekends often find us strolling around our neighborhood and stopping for an improptu lunch or indulging in <a href="http://rockawaytaco.com/" target="_blank">fresh fish tacos</a> at the beach.<br />
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Sometimes, after too many pizza slices, I need to hit the refresh button on Monday morning. Just a simple detox from sugar, take out, and general decadence. This is not any kind of specific cleanse involving rigorous juicing or steamed fish. Just simplifying for a few days to bring my body back to center. This is also very effective after traveling and eating at too many restaurants or a particularly large meal the evening before. I can immediately feel the difference, especially when I begin feeling lethargic and low on energy.<br />
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The plan:<br />
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<li>Drink lot's of water throughout the day. </li>
<li>Drink a large glass of water with a splash of <a href="http://www.earthclinic.com/Remedies/acvinegar.html" target="_blank">raw Apple Cider Vinegar </a>first thing in the morning.</li>
<li>Eliminate any food with sugar. (Not fruit)</li>
<li>Eliminate refined flour foods. </li>
<li>Incorporate a majority or raw and cleansing fruits and vegetables.</li>
<li>Limit dairy.</li>
<li>Limit anything "heavy" or difficult to digest.</li>
<li>Substitute green tea for coffee.</li>
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None of this is set in stone. This is not a "diet" or anything long term. I am not doing this to lose weight. Although this could be incorporated into a longer term, weight loss plan if desired. </div>
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Anyway, the point is, just to eat this way until I feel well. Maybe a couple of days. Maybe until next weekend. Also, if I want to have a piece of toast, I eat it. If I need a coffee, I drink it. These are just some guidelines that I have noticed optimize my well being.</div>
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What do you do to refresh after a few days of indulging?</div>
Karolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06418123778027474644noreply@blogger.com4