Phoenix Hudson: Week 3

Every week that goes by, I can't believe we've been parents for another seven days. That we've learned another new way to soothe this little guy, to meet his needs, and also find time to shower. There have been a lot of questions and frustrating moments, but mostly we are feeling like real parents now.

Baby P is such a sweet little guy. We can't say much for sleepiness. Luckily...

Not that he is sleeping through the night. Ha! Hardly. But he does wake me up by tugging on the top of my tank top and whimpering a little. He then nurses for a bit until he falls asleep for 2-3 more blissful hours. We're not as alert as ever but it's definitely not as bad as I thought it would be. I know it's different for everyone and bless his little heart, our boy seems to be an okay sleeper for the most part, but I thought I would be a zombie for sure. 

We usually get up after our 8 am feeding or if P decides to go back to sleep then we sleep in until 10. Luxury, I know. After that he eats again and we play for a little while. By play I mean stare at each other and I talk to him as he coos and makes sweet baby sounds at me. Usually I kiss him a million times until he makes a face that says, "Enough mom." Point taken.

This routine goes on for the rest of the day: nurse, nap, play, eat (me), maybe bathe...

The last few weeks have been a hazy blur of diapers, first smiles, and family naps. And in the midst of this, we are moving. Out of New York. For good.
We are not moving to California until after the holidays so this is kind of a transition move. We are moving out of our apartment and in with my parents in the burbs. We are close enough to the city to see our friends on the weekends until we move bit it's till surreal. For the next several weeks, we will be soaking up as much time with our families and friends as we can, enjoying our beloved city, and planning our new life in our NEW city. All with a newborn...Phew.
With that, we still have to pack up our whole apartment by Monday. Yikes. 

Phoenix Hudson: Week 2

Our second week with our sweet boy has been just as deliriously lovely as the first. Sometimes I find myself just staring into those wise blue eyes and wondering what he's thinking. If he's absorbing all the ways we tell him that he makes our world go round every day.

And so begins the fleeting journey of a newborn. All day I daydream what it will be like to hear his first giggles and hold hands walking down the street. How excited he will be to kick a soccer ball. If he will like dinosaurs or spaceships. And the larger part of me is trying to soak in this delicious itty baby with all my heart. I know he won't be a dreamy tiny newborn for very long. So I don't mind the night feedings and mountains of diapers. I embrace it. I miss him when he is sleeping. Each night I snuggle him to my chest as close as I can because I know one day he won't let me. He wakes me up with his coos and by grabbing on to the top of my shirt with his tiny hands. My heart melts every time. 2 am, 4 am, whenever.

He's already gained weight from his birth and I can't imagine what he will be like in 3 months or more. I'm not ready to yet.

I know a lot of new parents can't wait to move out of the newborn phase but I feel like I'm holding on for every last moment. 

My tiny boy.

There is no greater feeling than the weight of my child's body resting on my chest. Slowly rising up and down with every small breath. 

Breathing in his pure scent and nuzzling the soft spot on the top of his head gently with my lips. Bliss.

I'll never forget it.

Phoenix Hudson: Week 1

I'm back. Sort of.
I'm back as a new mom.
A busy mom.
A mom too busy to blog because I'm more interested in snuggling, kissing, holding, and falling in love with my sweet newborn boy. And napping. Sort of...

Life with this sweet boy has been a whirlwind so far. We are about a week in and S and I have laughed, cried, worried, and grown more in this week then ever before. We have grown not only as partners but as parents to this beautiful creature.

I have been attempting to write my birth story for a few days now. As any new parent knows, you master the one handed typing pretty quickly. But every time I try to find the words to describe that day, I am at a loss. It was so powerful. So raw. So surreal. But I will get there...I will find the words. Hoping to finish soon so I don't get too far away from that feeling. Not lose the emotion that came with that moment.

Here's our first week in photos:

Baby Shower, Hurricane, 33 Weeks

Phew.

What a crazed past two weeks. Seriously. We just had an earthquake AND hurricane here in NYC. And our baby shower, which was just as exciting. (At least for me!)

My parents are out of town so S and I decided to head out of the city to their house to make sure everything was okay, and also to be with Lucy the cat. I'm so glad we did because there ended up being quite a bit of damage after the storm. There are huge trees surrounding my parents property which ended up falling (not on the house) and breaking off giant branches (er...directly INTO the house!) which was scary. S and I tried to get some sleep on Saturday night but ended up getting out of bed around 3ish and watching the news. I made some coffee and we sat with the kitten until the sun came up, all with the power flickering on and off for hours. After we surveyed the area, we went back to bed. And then it was clean up for the next two days. The basement flooded, trees were down all over. It was pretty crazy. Anyway, all is over and we are okay. Not the case for thousands of people still without power up and down the east coast.

Thank goodness that the weekend before was our baby shower! Yeah! It was amazing. Having so many people who love us and are all excited for baby boy there was an overwhelming amount of love. And since we are moving away, it made it all the more special. I can't say enough about how grateful we are. My mom, aunt, and I (and S!!) cooked all the food and I think it was a success. We had badminton set up, an ipod playlist, and plenty of afternoon drinks. My kind of baby shower. My friend Arielle made (and let me borrow) the amazing necklace I'm wearing. Isn't it so fun?

We asked everyone to write a message to baby that we can put in a book later. After the party, we read them all back and, of course, I was a mess of emotions thinking of not having all these amazing people be a part of baby's everyday life. But they still will be. In a different way. They will all be his cool New York/New Jersey aunts and uncles. Gah. I can't even think about it right now...

As the weeks are creeping up I am in full stress out mode. Have you ever tried to prepare a space for a baby? Fun, right? Have you ever tried to prepare that space in an apartment you are moving out of? Not fun. More like, "Why are you even doing this?". Ugh.

30 weeks!

I can not believe that in just two months S and I are going to be parents.

I had an appointment with my midwife today and when I asked her if I should be doing anything special, she just replied with, "Relax."

Seriously? Great. Well in a sense I can find myself doing a whole lot of nothing these days while also having a million things to do. The thing is, we are moving.

That's right. We're moving out of NYC. Out of our sweet little apartment where baby boy will be born. Away from the city that we met and fell in love in. Where we planned our wedding and shared our dreams while walking around this neighborhood that we love. We'll be leaving behind our friends and most of our family. We'll be leaving behind our favorite coffee shops, bike paths, and brunch spots. And all this is happening just a few short weeks after baby makes his appearance. It is our choice, albeit a difficult one, but ours alone. And so we are trying to soak up our last New York summer with all that we have...

This weekend is our baby shower and I am super excited! Family and friends coming together for a summer afternoon to share our excitement - I couldn't be more grateful for the amazing support we have around us.

Oh, and I'm a red head now. There isn't much a seven month pregnant girl can do to jazz up her look. So I went big! I like it. It's sassy, no?

Hi, I'm here.

I know you're on the edge of your seat waiting to hear about me.
Brace yourself.

I've been doing a whole lot of nothing.
Well, that's not entirely true.

I've been cooking. A LOT.
And now that I've officially stopped working (YES!), I am finding I have even less time to get everything done. It's one of those things when, the less time you have, the more you accomplish. And the more free time you have, the more you dilly-dally. Does that ever happen to you?

Sigh.

Anyway, I digress. Cooking - up - a - STORM.
Those photos are just a few that I managed to take before inhaling said meal. These last few weeks have consisted of pizza making, veggie burgers, baking english muffins, and tons of gazpacho, among other things. Oh yeah, and did I mention home made HOT POCKETS?! NO BIG DEAL!
This was meant to be a freezer item that we sampled for dinner that evening. Sadly, none of the pockets made it to the freezer before lunch the next day. Oops.

Other than cooking, I have been trying to really enjoy the remainder of the summer. Our last summer before baby. Our last summer of us two. While we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little guy, we are spending lot's of time just being together in the quiet of this last summer.

New York has been going through a heat wave, much like the rest of the country. Luckily, we have been able to go to the beach every week, which has been my saving grace. Every Sunday morning I bounce out of bed, as if it were Christmas morning, and we head out. I then proceed to spend the entirety of the day floating. It is absolute bliss. Ahhhhhh...

And how is baby?
Magical. Amazing.
I'm now officially in my third trimester. I can barely believe how quickly it is flying by. I'm in my 27th week, which means that baby boy could technically come in 10 weeks (when I'm considered full term). Is that crazy? I feel like I was just announcing my pregnancy on here.

Anyway, we are getting ready little by little. Our shower is in a few weeks and I am so excited to celebrate with all our friends and family and then begin preparing. I told Scott last night that after the shower, it was really go time. Eek!

Other than that, there has been a lot of picnicking, movie watching by the AC, and general loveliness.

Oh yeah, and here's my updated photo. I think this is 25/26 weeks...
It's just a crappy phone photo and the sun was shining in my eyes but you can see how much my belly has grown since my last photo update.

24 Weeks

Firstly, thank you all who read my last post. It was a tough story to write but I'm so happy I did. Thank you all for your comments here, facebook, via email, and text message (friends!).

Since writing it on Monday, I must have reread it about a dozen times and each time felt so sad for the girl in the story. I was telling Scott that it feels like such a distant memory now. Of course a part of that experience will stay with me forever, but just reading that post, it didn't even feel like my life. I guess that's the last step in grieving...acceptance.

Anyway, here I am. 24 weeks! Phew. Feeling all kinds of exhausted and energetic. There are moments that I am scrubbing the base boards (um, yeah...) and of course, moments that I am a walking zombie. But in general, I've been feeling pretty good. I have to say, being pregnant in the summer is not half as bad as I thought it would be. I was imagining myself laid out in front of the ac, with a wet towel over myself. Ha! Since it's been pretty nice in the morning and late afternoon, walking a lot is not too challenging. And when it's WAY to hot, I go to the gym. Or yoga. Or I sit in front of said ac. Can't be active ALL THE TIME!

Growing a baby is exhausting people.

But this week there have also been a lot of changes. I feel like I look really pregnant. As in, people asking me how many weeks I have left, pregnant. YEAH, I KNOW! Hello people! I still have three months to go!

Also this week, Scott has been able to feel baby boy kicking more from outside of my belly. I've been feeling him for several weeks now and Scott has felt a sort of something here and there but the past few night, little one has been practicing his high kicks right before bed and hubs has has a lot more time to bond, as they say...

What else? Well I'm officially off my cooking strike and have been cooking and eating up a storm. Want some summer meal ideas? Okay! I'll get on that! Why not?

And I'm finally able to eat cheesy foods again. Riveting information, I know...

This last week has been spent BBQing with family, reading trashy magazines on the beach with friends, and surrounded by lot's of love. Here's to summer!

20 weeks: Halfway There!

I can't believe I am halfway through my pregnancy. I feel like the days are moving so quickly that I can't keep up. Didn't I JUST find out I was pregnant?

This photo was taken on our way back from lunch today with our doula. This onesie has been saving my life, as it has been nearly 100 degrees. Mama needs stretchy clothes.

These past 20 weeks have been incredible, stressful, emotional, exhausting, exciting, and unbelievable in the best sense. I am looking forward to the next 20, now that the countdown is on! It's so exciting that from this point on, S and I can start counting down until baby.

It's still difficult to wrap my head around the idea that this is our last summer as just us two. This time next year, we will have a tiny one. Usually in the summers we plan big adventures. Last summer we took a three week trip around Scandinavia. The summer before was Central America. This summer, growing a baby is our adventure. Next summer we plan on taking baby boy to Eastern Europe. (That was our original plan for this year and then, well, you know what happened.)

Today we received some tiny striped clothes in the mail and whatever mood I was in quickly disappeared as soon as I saw a hat only a bit larger than my fist. (!!!) The next hour was spent touching the sweet clothes and imagining baby boy running around in them. Sigh...