Time seems to be slipping away. My little tiny newborn is turing into a real baby day by day. It feels like every time he wakes up from a nap or from the night, he is a little but smarter and a whole lot heavier! We've crossed the three month marker and life is becoming pretty seamless, with the days going by faster than we can keep up. I find myself constantly in flux between wanting time to speed up to reach all new exciting milestones and fighting to slow down every second and hold on to each little giggle and squeal.
These days Phoenix is weighing in at a hefty 15.5 lbs. That's right. He's a monster baby. Between his two and three month check up he gained three pounds. Which puts him in the 98th percentile for height and weight. When Scott asked me what that meant, I told him, "It means only 2% of babies his age are larger than him." "Wait....only 2%?!!" hahaha
Other than weeding through his clothes week by week (we are now in 6-9), P is as strong as can be. Although, he has been since birth. He's constantly pulling himself up as soon as he manages to wrap his pudgy hands around anything solid. He's sitting up all on his own in his bumbo seat and looks like he will be a fast crawler. Oh this boy of ours...he sure does keep us on our toes.
Every day there is a new noise, a new giggle, and funny expression for us to experience. And waking up at seven isn't so bad when there is a sweet cooing boy snuggling up next to you and batting his long eye lashes at your sleepy face. Heart melts.
Before you become a parent, a lot of people tell you that the first six weeks are the most difficult or that once you hit three months it's so easy. Others say the first year is really challenging. I'm not really sure that the challenges ever really end. (Correct me if I'm wrong parents!) But I feel like the challenges change. It's the way you approach them that really makes some "harder" than others. As with anything in life, if you approach a situation thinking that you will fail, most likely you will. I never had any doubt in my mind that I would love being a mother, but I had no idea how crazy in love I would be with my son and how much more I would love my husband when he became a father. And how much more I would appreciate my parents the moment I felt what they felt all these years. All those cliches...they are true. You really don't know, until you are there.
And so once again, Phoenix is waking up from his nap. I know once I peek in and watch him playing for a second before he sees me, I will wonder what he's thinking about. I will wonder what new things he is learning today. I think about whether or not he can truly feel all the love that is around him morning and night. I watch in amazement as he discovers this whole beautiful world with such fresh eyes and a pure heart.
These are the thoughts going through my mind at any given time. Slowing down. Always wanting another moment. Another hour with this sweet babe.
“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.” -Haruki Murakami
Sometimes babies are a mystery. Today, Phoenix is sick and it is both heart breaking and exhausting. Not that much of parenting is a walk in the park, but having a sick baby has to be one of the hardest challenges. My normally happy little guy is so irritable and upset. Poor thing.
The mystery is: I'm not sure what he needs. I mean, other than food, clean diapers, and extra snuggles. He's never cried for "no reason" before. He's not fussy at all. And all of a sudden he is needing me more than ever. But that's just fine with me. We've just been nursing, nursing, nursing until he gets better.
I never thought I would be so excited about suctioning out a really huge booger but here I am, middle of the night, pulling that nasty thing out so my baby can breathe and sleep. That's the thing about being mom, you're always on call. For the rest of your life. It seems like such a daunting task. But nothing feels better than getting that little nose unstuffed and seeing your little one slip back into precious sleep.
And with that, I am handed another huge dose of perspective. It seems like every time I am faced with a parenting challenge, I am reminded to be thankful that I have a healthy boy. That his little body is strong enough to fight this terrible cold. And that I am able to be here for him day and night to help him get through it.
In the mean time, any advice for a sick three month old? Tried and true remedies?
I know I'm late with this post. I know most good bloggers posted their lists last week, yesterday, last month. I know. But guess what? This is real life and I'm just writing this out now. So just go with it.
2011 was a good year. It started out peeking out from the darkness of a terrible loss and ended by shining a light on the possibilities of a new year ahead.
Here is a look (in photos) of my favorite year yet!
We spent the first month of the year with good friends. Gearing up for a new year and setting ourselves up with a positive perspective. Little did we know what was just around the corner.
As the sun started to roll in, we ventured out to explore.
We headed out west to spend some time in our second favorite city, LA!
We played in castles with dear friends.
Took in the view.
Ate yummy things at the farmers market, after a workout. Ahem... (That's right. I worked out on vacation.)
There was a short lived (albeit delicious) obsession with thai iced tea italian ice. Yum.
Dining outside with pretty friends.
Birthday fun :)
Cooking and baking every day.
And growing, growing, growing...
It was HOT and we tried to spend as much time as we could at the beach.
I made (and ate) gazpacho almost every day.
Friends enjoying margaritas while I drink water with lime. Womp womp.
I started to look and feel more like I was in my third trimester. And also I was hot. ALL the time. Since I felt like a house, I dyed my hair red. Woot!
Our baby shower! Made possible by my sweet parents :)
A few more walks on the boardwalk.
As we got closer to the big day I was running out of clothes but I refused to buy any more maternity clothes so I came up with little outfits such as this one, when my bestie Shannon came up for the day. Interesting, no?
I made my own nutella! Really!
Husband celebrated his birthday in Greece! (Not really, just a Greek resto.) Wish...
One of my last midwife appointments before our little butterball was here.
And then the waiting began...
He's here! Phoenix Hudson was born at home by the light of the moon.
The very first photo:
We became parents...
fell in love with him...
and all at once, our whole new life began.
This month, our little sack of potatoes decided to stop being a newborn...
and become a funny little baby!
This is my favorite photo, out of all the hundreds we took this month. Our sweet boy. His very first Christmas. By the light of his very first tree.
2011 was not a year without challenges and tough decisions. But nothing compares to the joy and wonder that becoming a parent brings. Seeing the whole amazing world through your child's eyes puts all things into perspective and with that teaches you what to hold dear.
I am so grateful for all these moments and the many more not captured on film. 2011 was the most life altering year of my life and I can't wait to see what's to come in 2012.